Table 13

It would be the second time I visited that Japanese restaurant. They served well and the Tempura Udon was just amazing the first time I tried to taste it with some friends.

Bright mind to start a new thinking!

I was alone. Right after a meeting (on Sunday), I took off to a mall nearby my main job office. Sitting down in a seat of four at the corner, then I ordered the same menu like I had for the first time there and took quite longer for me to have a cute-looking drink and sweet garnished desserts.

And....

"Hey you... wanna fight me?"

The scream made me shocked a little and I started to stare around, not moving my head that much. My sight searched for the source of the loud voice, but I couldn't find it. I was getting deaf I guessed.

Then it came again, "You dude, you... in red checkered tops! Show me your ID!!!"

That one made me confused. Who was the guy? Where was he? And how did he look like? I thought he might be one of the creme-de la-creme clan who controlled the 1/4 of whole money of the state. The same characteristic... they got guts. Just like this man, I scanned it from his voice.

I saw around. The other visitors...some...also looked around. Looking for the source of the voice. Some weren't distracted. As for the waiters and waitresses... one of them was smiling indiscreetly, some were kinda distressed, some were annoyed. BUT, none of them was going to one site to act on anything.

When my menu served, I asked the waitress, "What's wrong with the loud voices?"

"Umm, sorry, which voices?" she asked me back. That's kinda funny. How come she didn't even notice...

"That loud voice," I repeated. "It's like somebody is fighting, mad or what?"

Hmm... Yes, my friend?

I saw later her face was changed, as if she had already expected that I might ask about it. "Ahh, that one. It's a guy from table 13. He's always like that. I'm sorry if you're disturbed," she finally closed my curiosity.

"No, it's ok. Not your fault." I said. "But did he order something or just sit there?"

"Sometimes he ordered food. But mostly he just always sit there, at table 13, and drinks 'ocha'."

That's weird, isn't it?

I tried to take a look of his face. But I only got the back and side of his head. Well, yet I could tell, he was around 50s years old, classic-looking Chinese guy, kinda flamboyant with painted silk shirt (and colorful, d'oh). I could assume he might be a person that's stuck in his old good days in 70s. Additional info: he has high-volume hairstyle like a male lion. Yes, you got it, right?  You got what I'm saying, did you?

Deeply deeper. Actually, he's just like me. I know it. Alone. Stares around his surroundings. Apart from family (as mine were celebrating Chinese New Year celebration that bored me enough with the whole grand family of my dad's side involved. And mind the whole chit-chat tradition). His mind messed up, like mine.

He's not one of the super rich clan with freak guts. Maybe. Who cares? To me, to all the people in the resto, he's a stranger. Seeing that guy just made me asked myself. Can I be alone, just alone, in my 50s? Note: if I'm still alive. It caused doubts to reach me and question all of my early decisions---decisions on being alone, never married and have kids. The root of the problems is a mixture of these two, which are 'Am I that strong enough?' and 'Am I getting too far to get right?'

If the guy could come to the mall, walked to the same resto and sat at the same table 13, and bought something...he might have money. Did his family give it to him and let him be away all he wanted? Well, yeah...I'm getting too far for a little curiosity. It shouldn't be my problem. Not a concern for a girl like me, who always tried to ignore stuffs around. But I just feel that this could be a reflection, an early warning for me, on my decisions and views---or a threat from the universe?

In my heart, I tried to figure out of the guy's character, emotional state, and his background story, leading me to think of what had happened to him. And his family? Where are they? Do they know that he's almost always there, at his favorite table?


***

Such situation...we'll come up to a question, "where's his wife? Where are his children?" But we never ask, "Where has he been doing?" Oops, I just made three in total.

I against my tradition. Married...kids. What for? What should I repeat those freaking moment that they call as 'circle of life'? I have my own life. I believe what people think as something that should be. A must!

For everything I try to create in me is...being independent. Financially, it goes to number one. You can't live without sufficient money and secure. Most people think I will get those (in this situation, if you're a woman) when you marry a man, as the theory is... he has responsibility to give you all. And if you're a man, ...er... you will be guaranteed not to be hungry and live in dusty houses with dirty clothes to wear.

Well, oh well, there's no guarantee that a man will not cheat you and give his money more to his mistress or random girlfriends. Worst? He can just leave you without anything left. Additional worst case, if you have children and your hubby doesn't care of them anymore, which means YOU got to cover everything! Another worst case? Whether your hubby makes you infected by STD as he's cheating on you! Ooh, thank you!

By the time goes by, I think further and design my future in complex structure. The temptation is always there: just a blink and everything is ta-daa! But I know, it's time to get real. You can't get respect if you don't respect yourself by not living the way you want. When this happens, even your family can't help out. And another note to take: no children, you can be just alone in your old days.

But, having one....your younger days will be hard as well. Which one do you choose?

Aww...I'm thinking...of something *woof*

I still choose not to. Most of the time, I think of having a partner. No kids, strictly. Why? I'm working woman, devoting my life for career... and in this world, you can't always choose both. Kids will need more time with their parents, good school, good nutrition to feed... Can I afford that? Financially and in a matter of time? What about life values? Their future is based on the seeds you plant in their early life. Some people never think that far. Most parents wanna-bes only think of the 'fun' and tradition of life... Responsibility is missing from their agenda.

Most people will say, "you don't know what will happen one day!" or "who knows things get better once you try to have one!". Hey, that child...would be other person! Other person out of you that you will be responsible to. And you just underestimate his future!

I strictly choose not to have children, or marry. I know most people hear this (or read this) and would say, "don't say that!" Yeah, knew it. It happens many times. Or, people who don't know me (who talks to me just a time or two in a month or in 3 months) will joke around say, "Yeah, I pray that you will have kids and change your mind." They think that it would be the best for me to have kids. Who are they? I should say to them back, "I'll pray you regret everything in your life, that you children one day will regret to have parents like you, as well!"

Uhm, I'm thinking of something, too!

Seriously, I can tell... those kind of people...aren't your good friends. Or my good friends! Or good people. Coz what? They never try to understand the whole thing that has shaped you to this day until you make such decision. What they say as the best thing will only bring the end of the world to me. Just because you're young, it doesn't mean that you don't know anything. Just don't be a smart-ass when you're old later on. A decision, complex and 'far' one couldn't just come by a click, could it?

No longer questionable that there are people who thinks they have pieces of you. By just seeing you, then they're acting if they already know you so much that they could tell you what's good for you. I know what's good for me. Different or the same way most people do, none of anyone's concern. And being different apart from you isn't always the wrong side of the world.

I know where I stand. I know what I want. I know what I need. And I know where to stand... Now, I'm keep on trying. Fixing mistakes, sharpen ideas of a great future of my own.

The Chinese New Year scene about the Table 13 guy has given me insightful rhetoric reflection. For my temporary judgement, whether that guy was just acting crazy to bring down the resto's image...OR he has been living in 'safe' way that people do and now he's betrayed.

Am I getting too far? Oh yes.. It's so me. Thinking far and complex is my expertise.

So, thankfully.. I'm 23, knowing what's best and keep on improving the future and my todays. Refusing to be clueless in my old days. Trying to love my life. Forgiving the past. Standing on my own. Stop self-pitying and selling sad stories.

And thus, yes... I choose to be alone in my old days. Note: I'm still alive :)

Good luck!

... what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

21.04

Kartini...

Tahun 2013. Tahun ini...


Hari ini, kita hanya akan mengenang dia: Kartini. Perempuan Jawa. Pahlawan wanita yang paling diingat bangsa absurd ini. Dari segudang wanita yang berjuang untuk perubahan. Nama Kartini yang disebut, diingat dan dikenang.

Kemana yang lain?

Tidak hanya kita mengabaikan banyak perempuan lain yang menghembuskan atmosfir perjuangan. Kita sudah banyak lupa!

Kita lupa, bahwa perempuan bukan makhluk nomor dua. Hanya karena percaya jika Hawa diciptakan dari rusuk Adam. Kita lupa, untuk sebaiknya tak percaya pada tahayul yang sexist.

Kita lupa, perempuan memang istimewa tapi tidak perlu diistimewakan. Karena kami sama dengan yang laki-laki. Siapapun dari kami, tak perlu atau seharusnya merasa superior.

Kita lupa, kalau perempuan kadang lupa. Perempuan punya tenaga untuk membawa tasnya sendiri. Laki-laki pun lupa bahwa setiap orang, baik mereka sendiri atau perempuan, punya energi yang terbatas untuk membawa massa berat yang besarnya setengah dari badannya. Tak ada satupun dari mereka yang diciptakan dewa, berkekuatan mesin melawan hukum gravitasi.

Kita lupa, untuk berpikir lagi. Menjadi ibu, menjadi istri...bukan yang membentuk seorang perempuan menjadi seorang wanita. Bukan rahim dan jodoh yang menentukan nasib mereka.

Kita lupa, pernikahan bukan akhir yang indah. Anak tidak selalu jadi penyelamat. Perceraian sering pula menjadi jalan keluar dari kegelapan.

Kita lupa, pada siapapun kita menikah, perempuan tetap perempuan. Perpisahan tidak akan melumpuhkan. Perempuan akan tetap jadi wujud utuh, bernama manusia, seorang individu.

Kita lupa, hampir semua perempuan pasti pernah dikecewakan laki-laki. Tapi tidak semua dari mereka memilih untuk tidak menikah, kan? Jadi, jangan lupa bahwa ada perempuan tidak mau menikah, bukan karena trauma dikecewakan.

Kita lupa, perempuan bisa bahagia kala ia melangkah sendiri, tanpa rasa sepi. Namun heran, kita selalu lupa cerita tentang pria kesepian yang tersesat.

Kita lupa untuk tidak mengeluhkan 'kemana ibunya?' ketika seorang anak gagal dalam hidupnya.

Kita lupa menanyakan 'kemana ayahnya?' saat seorang anak dilanda masalah.

Kita lupa, selalu lupa, jika seorang anak adalah tanggungan kedua orang tuanya. Bukan cuma ibunya, bukan cuma ayahnya. Seorang...

Ayah sering kali lupa, jika si ibu (mungkin) juga bekerja. Labrakan 'saya kerja, kamu urus anak!' sudah tidak berlaku.

Semua lupa, jika dunia lebih kejam pada perempuan. Semua lupa untuk menyalahkan laki-laki yang berselingkuh, akan tetapi ingat untuk menyalahkan istrinya dan juga simpanannya. Mencari kekurangan mereka. Kita lupa, laki-laki juga 'manusia' yang punya hidup sendiri dan bukan robot yang harus terus disetel.

Dunia hanya akan lupa dan lupa...

... lupa jika perempuan pernah ada. Karena mereka hanya diajarkan untuk diam, duduk manis seperti boneka. Tidak pernah didengar. Hanya dilihat bak pajangan. Melupakan nyawa dan pikiran yang hidup, melupakan fakta bahwa mereka makhluk hidup, yang sama dengan yang (katanya) diciptakan pertama kali (oleh sumber yang tidak jelas).

21.04

... what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

#cloudphotos18

I tried to install PicMix on my blackberry. The mood is kinda cute. Like Instagram, but not that good, though. Well, I compiled these cloudphotos long time ago, but haven't (and forgot, actually) to post it here. And now, I post this with the other latest cloudphotos I took while my homeworks are mounted and deadline is near...

It's pink and blue...

Maybe the sky is falling in love.

Like Julien Janvier and Sophie Kowalsky dans le film 'Jeux d'Enfants'

The blue represents le monsieur, 

and the pink signs la femme.

Thus, the rencontre of the two 

creates la nouvelle sentiment...

...la violet.

I went to my fave spot at Grand Indonesia's parking lot, on the 6th, to take these pics. Just two slots away from where the car parked. It's very beautiful on my view finder, much beautiful seen from by my own eyes. I only take a few different angles as the place isn't really supportive this hobby of mine. Too tight. The pic was taken..well, you know, a lil moment after the sunsets. From the first pic (not the one in picmix) and the last, they're getting darker and darker. Funny, it was kinda fast to see the sky so dark soon enough only in 10 minutes. By the way, this is Jeux d'Enfants film poster I mentioned above. 

... what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

The Cooking Continues...

Remember I wrote a blogspot two days ago about cooking plan? Well, I didn't do it on Friday nite. I ended up receiving a call from an old friend. Which meant... 'long-time-no-see friend' and 'a friend who is kinda old enough, hmph, older than me'. No offense.

What did I eat? I ate my ready salad I bought at FoodHall. It's potato, smoked beef and cheese with the toppings! I also bought my mom one, but it's more to vegetables. As I don't eat vegetables, so potato it is. Yet, 2am in the morning, I watched AFC and cooked myself Udon! I won't never get bored having Udon everyday in my life. Sadly, no tempura involved.

Shopping the ingredients at FoodHall was nice. I bought smoked beef, just in case my niece misses my yummy creamy Fetucinne with smoked beef. People there, I assumed, very friendly and helpful. They were willing to answer all my detail questions.

They helped me looking for salmon. But for this salmon case, it's rather distinguished. I call it so, because it's kinda complicated. They have two kinds of salmon sold in different spots. One is near the sushi thingy, and it's Tasmanian salmon. You can eat it raw, like for making sashimi, or grilled. The guy told me if you want to grill it, choose the back of the fish as it has less fat. Or with more fat, choose the stomach part.

On the other part, they sell Salmon near the other fishy and prawns! That one is Norwegian Salmon that you can't eat raw and is specialized for grill. I already bought the first Tasmanian. The guy even packed it with ice, I said yes, so couldn't just throw it away. That's not nice! Eventually, I bought this one also.

Remember my recipe for Grilled Salmon with Greek Yogurt? That salmon buddies go for it.

As for the prawns for Shrimp Garlic Recipe from foodwishes.com, I didn't get any problem except I bought very small portion. I didn't know how much I might need it. So, I told the other guy who taught me the difference between the Tasmanian and Norwegian salmon, "I want 20!" It turned out only a few. I moved to Ranch Market and found (seemed-to-be preserved) Salmon filled that less cheaper. D'Oh! That's ok!

I cooked it on Saturday nite. 9pm. Late for cooking, but who cares? As long as I have the whole kitchen for me! As the prawns are only these few... I cooked with half recipe. I did it!

My Garlic Shrimp!

I didn't use Red Pepper flakes as it's written in the recipe, coz when I was shopping, I thought I still had some. But the truth was... none left. So, I used substitute, which was black pepper! The caper brine I bought at Ranch Market was great! As for the Italian parsley, I didn't find it, so I choose basil. Not too much. I don't eat vegetables. My mom initially suggested to use lettuce, but the smell won't blend nicely. So, basil it is...

My cook, based my own review, the butter was too much. I should choose my Elle et Vire butter. But the Orchard butter was left opened so I chose it. Not so good. The smell wasn't pretty! And, a bit too much... Sad.


Back to Grilled Salmon with Greek Yogurt recipe.... This, I cooked it just now!

Attention! I couldn't find any Greek Yogurt. So there, in Ranch Market, I googled with my smartphone, that Mayonnaise could be a good substitute. Not great, but good. But, I was quite lucky for the fresh Dill. Didn't find the fresh one, except this...

And I can also find the Tortilla wrap!

Also this!

Three new friends from the Disney Egg Chocolate! Just an intermezzo...

I also made half-recipe, using the Norwegian Salmon. With extra pepper of course! And as the fillet was too small and the wrap was kinda too big. I'll cut half, again!

So, these two days...it's all about dividing into half.

And, I'm going to put some lettuce!

You know why I'm so excited?! This was my very first cooking with marinade process... Yeah! So below is the picture of all the ingredients used for marinade. Before and after combined. With extra pepper, of course.

Before and After ^^

Then, spreading it to the whole salmon fillets....

Ta-daaa....

Oh, I'm a happy creature!

On the recipe, it was told to keep the marinade in the fridge for one hour, but as the situation in the kitchen not so supportive (my mom was using the kitchen and my sis was eating there), I let it for another hour...  Here's a pic, right away from the fridge. I can guarantee: it's cold!

I grilled them with indoor kitchen. I don't have BBQ grill or bla-bla-bla. Just use my pan and grill. No oil involved. Once it's done, I put my lettuce to half-cut Tortilla wrap, put the mayonnaise sauce and the salmon! Say, 'Yay!'

This time, the grilled salmon episode of my life made me nervous. My mom wanted to try it, so it should be tasty. She told me that the grilled salmon was less spiced. Could be, the salmon should be sliced thinner, therefore the spices in marinade process will be absorbed better.

Anyway...

My Grilled Salmon Wrap!

... what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Super D'Oh!

What a shame...

 ...on me!

You know what? You don't, do you? Well, it seems that this year...of 2013, I am not lucky enough to attend Java Jazz. I'm sad! Usually, all these years, I'd always got free tickets. For me and my friend. All 3-day pass, and sometimes, with special show tickets! THIS YEAR, not even one daily ticket. This is not cool!

Now, today... it's the first day of Java Jazz. I haven't bought any. Coz:

1. I just realize that I might not get any ticket, free ones from my bro's office (yes, free ones, shame on me again), just yesterday! One day before.... Ugh!

2. From my very first experience of Java Jazz, I never figure out how to buy the tickets myself.

3. And now, it's about to start, I wanna go, but how can I make it quick? Where to buy on the D-day?

Ok, I'm lame!

What makes me disappointed that I'm going to miss Joss Stone! Also, Lee Ritenour and Craig David. Not fun! I'm officially turning into a boring person.

I feel goddamn so...

Maybe, I can justify. I have deadlines to conquer. For my work and side job!

And, I'll be home for them, then...

Besides, I need rest. Craig David is going to perform on Sunday night. How is it possible for me, if I got the ticket, to go watching but keep on working on the next day, which is our lovely Monday I suppose?

Anyway, for not being cool. I won't make it worst. Maybe some of you will see that I do.

What I'm going to do tonight is... cooking!

It's been long time, I've been waiting to cook this Grilled Salmon Wraps with Greek Yogurt. The photo of the cuisine seems cute and tasty. And easy! Besides, it's going to be my first time cooking with marinade process. But I wonder if I can find any Greek yogurt at the supermarket here in Jakarta. Also with the Tortilla wraps!

And... weekend is consisted of two and a quarter days, isn't it? A quarter day of Friday, and 2 days: Saturday and Sunday. So, after trying that recipe above, I'm also going to cook this Garlic Shrimp Recipe from this blog, which isn't going to be the first time for me. First time, fail! This time won't!

Not to miss. I'm going to bake some cupcakes...

I will try both FoodHall and Ranch Market at Grand Indonesia to shop all the ingredients. Hopefully I find them all!

Will report soon after I hit the deadline...

***
Ohh, I wish I can just get away forgetting the fact that I don't get the Java Jazz ticket this year... Wish this article finishes soon, too!
***


... what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

God and A Wedding

A few days ago, I found a headline on an online newspaper, stating that the Pope Benedict has resigned. I joked with a bunch of colleagues, “Even a Pope has resigned, when will be our turn?”

I’m not interested in his full story behind the resignation. Yet, ‘why’ word is crawling in my heart. I can’t think about it, so I can only try to feel what was actually happening despite the distance and the deceiving message about the ‘reality’ I might receive from the Roman Catholic Church Public Relations department. Well, if any. Majoring Mass Communiation in Communication school makes me skeptical about what’s on the news or the things public figure says---simply, anything from anyone.

A question came up later on. Who’s going to replace him? A friend on Twitter also joked, ‘whether it’s our President or the Dangdut king, Rhoma.’ Oh I can tell you, if it ever happens...that is seriously going to be a disaster. Anyway, such thing won’t happen. Thank God, they’re not Catholics.

Actually, that question also makes wondering. Why should we have a Pope? One central communication of evangelism? The thing is... the Catholic churches now have their own regulations and policies. Unlike in the past, they go with the same rule applied for the whole world. So, do we still need a Pope? Even now the Catholic churches, based on my personal observation and experience as my sister is a church activist, they’re going commercial below the line. The huge difference as creativity to gain more profits will be competitive, right? They won’t go the same way, then.

Many of them, together with some activists, rely on donations. Not that weekly donations every churchgoer gives as part of their service, but it’s kind of personal donations. Mostly, once they know they have a member who is wealthy  they will keep in touch, very often... and well, you know it yourself already, do you?

Everything I see now are covered with beliefs. People show their beliefs to grab ‘innocent’ image or even as ‘charismatic’ and ‘reliable’ character. Not so difficult enough for the church to gain some benefactors. In my early school days, I think this happens only in political realm. Politicians with religious image. Not anymore. Even the religions have their game. Game of money and thrones.

Therefore, I guess the money and thrones part have shaped the religions and politics into something adorable and heart-catchy. It’s a game anyway. You can just come addicted, trying to win it or hitting the highest score, like I did with Super Mario Bros and Tekken 5 game.

Lately, Jakarta’s vice governor had a discussion with doctors in town. He stated what it takes to be a doctor. The good one. Then one doctor stood up saying that he didn't completely agree with him. Saying that it needs ‘akhlak’ or religious ethics. Ok, what if you got sick very badly, dying... and the doctor prefers to keep on having his praying rituals? I think I will end up dead before he finishes his prayer. D’oh?

The vice-gov also explained, which supported my observations towards religious people back in my high school days, that in the government many of them are acting religious but that point doesn't contribute on good and ethical performance. Well, who aren't surprised anyway?

This is not the way I’m not trying to imply that being agnostic is the best way. It’s the best for me. But I keep my faith personal, yet I will be open to anyone who wants to know. At least, people aren't lost about agnosticism or getting me wrong.

Religions are institutions. Created by human. Providing a pile of rules to ‘find’ and ‘reach’ God. Forming God’s personality. It’s just... complicated. (Like my love story). If God can’t be seen, how human can figure out that their (humanly)made rules will work out. Finding God in certain way, while you won’t be able to see how God might look like, or even feel whether He is happy with what you do. For something that isn't visuals and only to talk through heart, I choose to talk to Him from my heart as well. It’s a media that God PROBABLY prefers to reach us. I said ‘PROBABLY’.

I believe 'to see' is the most greatest gift to enjoy grace, yet, ‘to feel’ is huge way to seek the truth. Truth is never easy-shaped, like you draw smiling face on a cookie. The more enormous energy is there to reached by heart.

Again, today, another media wrote...or most likely to simplify the vice-govt’s point-of-view. “The religion cannot rule the governance ” it wrote. Religion, in hundreds of pages is limited. I mean the Bible. No book is perfect. Any bibles. Anyone can think and do wrong. Anyone can push his own true objectives and matters to public. Just a way of politic manifesto.

What we lack is...ethics and morality. We forgot about it. Even the religious say that those two things are points taught in religion. Something makes me wonder, what about the atheists? What about the religious tier who has scandals? Nobody’s perfect is your answer? Okay!

I remember the first time I met my best friend who is an atheist. I was at shock. After years being a Catholic schoolgirl who was very devoted to Catholicism, the teaching had brainwashed me saying that the being atheist is wrong. Describing them as someone bad and dangerous. 'Far from God', they say. A story in the Bible of the Samaritan was seemed to be forgotten. To my surprise, this atheist girl is one of my good friends with good attitude much better than the religious ones.

It happened to me, after saying that I didn't go to church for years, someone said “What? Gosh, you’re the lost lamb.” I’m not a lamb, I’m human! That’s for his surprise.

Not having a religion doesn't reflect whether you’re not a good guy or vice versa. Can’t say more. I don't know if we can put such situation into Cognitive Dissonance Theory. Simple, the way I see it is... ethics and morality was far from the core of religion in the matter of practice.

Lately, I went to church. YES, I really did. For my colleague’s wedding. It was a long way gone to Cilandak. The church was cute, very Indonesian, very Javanese, very down-to-earth. Small and intimate. An example of assimilation of Catholicism to local culture.

The thing was... I kinda miss the moment when I feel awkward when people who don’t have good enough voice to sing...singing out loud. So bold with confidence. So awkward when people who are complete strangers to you are trying to be close to you. In other word, they’re trying to be friendly. As it was a wedding, I also can’t help that people crying, touched by happiness of the nuptials. It’s just TOO MUCH. But I miss it. It felt like, I've just came back!

Where was I? Where had I been?

When it came to the priest to say ‘what God has united let no men separate’. It was still as freaky as it sounded years ago when I first heard and disagree with it. Whole life in this small room was always be the same. Like a part of the world who never touches or ever been touched by the civilization, or in this case, globalization---far from glamour, far from kinky laughter...

...far from modernization. They were still very traditional in fashion, and manner as well. The whole drama of the game was covered by odd peace.

As I stayed there for 2-hour wedding mass, I got to do the catholic ritual of praying which I already forgot. It’s been 5 years. And I forgot how to talk through God with exact written text prayers. I forgot what to do before entering the church, what I should say after receiving communion, and what I was intended to do after it. My heart was only talking to mind. Confused. Recalling my memory---my past with the church.

Just a wedding, it drags me back from the start where I pick up my wake-up-call on God and religion to the moment when I realize I should leave.

... what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Mood Booster

It's kinda late to share the first two mood boosters of mine, but still, as earlier I wrote that I might have a disorder of keeping things unopened. I just opened them in my new year's eve holiday.

First, the nail polish. Well I never like Korean stuff, but my friends said that The Face Shop nail lacquers are good. Just polish onto your nail once and that's it...the colour will come out enough. And, I proved it! But one shot only could result weak result, not so strong, but still... nice. Second shot...it is damn cute. I can't remember the last time being pinky girl after grade school over.

Somehow, when I was going to buy it, there were two choices. One was a bit dusty, my fave of all time, but transparent, and the other one was the one I finally bought, milky pink.

Do you see two color polishes on my thumb?

Secondly, a hair mist! I don't know whether it's an effect of working for a hair magazine. But I found this L'Occitane Rose Hair Mist is awesome. I always love the smell of rose. This invention will help a lot if you haven't found any time to wash your hair. (Err..) Or, you go through a very berry smelly place and you feel that it's gotten into your hair, then, spray the rose magic hair mist! That product seriously makes me feel beautiful!

In January, after I got back from holiday, I found another bookmark! Two years before I bought exactly the same, but it was Eiffel. I remember I had this confusion. Eiffel, dog or puppy's bone toy. I never thought that I might find them again. So, I bought a dog one this year. Cute?

Aaannndd.... I'm obsessed with baskets!

At least, they made my room rather a bit organized...

... what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Stranger In A Night

What if you take a cab, share with two strangers, in a night of Jakarta?
You're alone. It's almost dark. And the city is running out of cabs.

***

Saturday. Long day for a weekend: 2 meetings and one class to attend. Far far away from my home in East Jakarta.

Since morning, I got a meeting in Dharmawangsa for my side job at Blaire. Second, I got a class in Salihara, at 4pm. Then, a meeting at 7pm in Diagonale, Plaza Senayan---this one, I met bad traffic, so I arrived at 8.30pm.

I started to queue up for a cab at the lobby at 10pm-ish. It was a long queue, but even so, many people in front of me were given up already. Soooo, step forward please! Woohoo! 

While I waited, I talked to a woman standing before me. She just bought many t-shirts from a store. Many... until two shopkeepers walked out to help her bringing the stuff to the cab queue line. She said she was going to arrange a gathering for the employees. "Year's closing," she said.

Then, our conversation was around the traffic we found everyday, from home to work and vice versa. It took a long time just to get one cab that time. Until she offered me, "What if we just share cab, you can drop by somewhere with more taxis available!" Her destination was Tebet and not so far from my home. Just go through Casablanca and voila!

I was stumbled a bit, but I said yes. My mom worried about me already. Besides, I was too tired and it's damned late and dark. Later, I found out that she was there with a colleague. Her colleague was waiting not so far away from the queue line. She expected to have another brand of taxi. And yes, she got it. It was white cab. She yelled out to call the woman who had been talking to me to join her. I saw from where I stood that they loaded their shopping bags into the cab. I just stood still. I wonder if the lady remembered her offer. Ha!

I didn't want to leave my spot in the line. Many people lined up after me and I had been there like forever. Surprisingly, that woman ran a little towards me and asked, "you still wanna join us?"

"Oh, yes, of course," I answered, stepping out from my spot. I jumped into the car. All the way to Casablanca, we were lucky. Not bad traffic. It's 11pm anyway.

There, we talked about the city and all. The cab driver was friendly and helpful in finding better routes. He told us that he was just about to drink his coffee when someone asked him to take him to Senayan. He drank fast and went off. His passenger was begging him. He got no choice. Cab is hard to find whenever it's raining or in weekend nights.

Say 'Hi' to strangers, Kitties!

He also shared his knowledge about cab branding and the drivers' quality, regarding our conversation about safety in traveling with cabs in Jakarta. "BlueBird and Express are quite common now. They have good drivers yet some of them are new and not trained. Many of them are still getting lost in taking clients," he said. "Actually, another good cab is Putra, but they don't have interesting branding. Proton cars, in such unattractive dark blue colour," he added.

Then, we arrived at Casablanca, in front of Kota Kasablanka, they dropped me off after seeing another cab standby there. I handed the money. We were sharing, that was the deal. But they refused so hardly, I couldn't resist anyway. They said it's their route and it didn't cause them any trouble to take me there.

So, there I go. Leaving them so grateful. Believe it or not. I shared the cab with couple of strangers, in the middle of the night. Alone, with them. Without knowing their names---Yes, we didn't exchange for names at all. Something unbelievable.

Maybe it's about instincts that told me if the woman wouldn't harm or anything. I gave my positive energy since morning, even before the meeting started. The class was great. I bought the book written by the lecturer. I was happy and satisfied, although I was tired. Maybe... I can feel better when I'm in neutral state.

Somehow, it opened up my eyes. I think that situation tried to make me realized something. At the time, no matter how positive I was that day, I felt I lost my trust in myself and towards anyone else. I'd been feeling lonely and in need to talk to someone. I just didn't know to whom I could trust after all the situation I got myself trapped into. But this stranger...miraculously I can trust her. In this small world, this experience woke up me if there are still someone out there I could put my trust and faith on. What a stranger!

Dear strangers, thank you! Whoever you are...and wherever you are now. It was fun!

(Not suggested, though. ^^ )


... what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Finally.... HOLIDAY!

Well, I don't have many holiday or day-off this year after I get work contract for 6 months. Hmm.. anyway, I was absent for quite few days too during these 5 months due to my sickness.

By the way, the 21st December 2012 was the last day working before Christmas. I stayed at Starbucks Plaza Indonesia with a dear colleague, Agnes. She mentioned that that day, her mom made 'onde'. It's in Chinese culture to celebrate that on 21st or 22nd Dec is the peak of the winter (if I'm not mistaken) as the Chinese New Year will be in February 2013 soon.

When I got home, my niece was about to have a sleep over at our place. She joined my mom and my sis who also make some Onde. They used some of my food coloring I used to make for macaroon. The violet, pink and blue.

Before and after

Onde itself is made from rice flour and boiled with water, along with ginger and pandan leaf. Usually, people will make it in red, green and white. Coz we got blue and green, they choose to use them, too. Being a bit different is fun, right?

Do you see the Smurf? Really you smurf it?

Ok, for this one... Well, it's been awhile I don't spend much time and money to shop. But due to my need for advanced appearance at work, fresher me...those make good reasons to hop the malls and keep on swiping my debit card. What's fun? I hoarded them in my bedroom, not opening them until Dec, 30th. It felt like gifts from me for myself. I don't know why I love to keep things wrapped and unused.

Yippee!

I bought new shoes (other than the ones in previous blogpost), trousers as my body turned smaller---believe it or not---new tops, new bag... whew! To your surprise, I bought Goody products! If I've never paid attention that much to hair care or hair styles, maybe I would try a little bit taking care of them. I'll write about hair care and hair styles experiment later. For books, I have shared it in my bookblogpost.

You see I bought some The Body Shop stuff. Ugh, yeah I got to admit I have something wrong with my feet, caused by new shoes I'd bought months ago. There were dark scars remained on my skin. D'oh! Pray for me it would work... smooth and nice feet in 2013. Crossing fingers for me, will ya?

And if you happened to read my old blog post about my obsession on cook blog, you would see I post a pic of kinky, girly, sweet grey polcadots apron. I didn't find the same thing, but I found this in Daiso, Japanese corner in FoodHall.

I looked big. Yes?

The fate of my Christmas presents are the same. I like to keep them wrapped in their cute gift-wrap paper. Here are some gifts that gathered in my home's Christmas tree. Not all of them belonged to me of course. Two of them were from me to my nephew and niece. One of them was a prank from mom to my niece as she left her stuffed dog at our washing machine. My sis also brought some cupcakes with cute marzipan and sugar Santa. Well, it was simple 25th Dec this year but I love all my gifts. One of them is a collection of Doraemon figurines.

... what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Whoops!

There must have been something wrong with my eyes. I've been so careless lately. It is very obvious.

I went to Senayan City for event reporting. After that I went shopping, I found this top and shoes quite nice. I like them. But sadly for the shoes, the size was too big for me. I need 37. I asked the shopkeeper to find in which store the particular design in  size 37 might be available. She came to me and said that only one couple left in Grand Indonesia. So, I got there the next two day, hoping they hadn't been bought yet. And there they were. I'm lucky! At least, I thought so.

At home, I showed it to my mom, saying I got another sweet shoes and I planned to wear it for work. She said, "It's ballet shoes, you can't wear that!"

"No," I said. "It only seems so."

But then, I tried to put them on my feet and took them off. A few seconds later, I saw a sticker on the sole. Whoops! My mom's right...

Not gonna wear these to work! NEVER!

... what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...