... and oh, come on. Who would not ever fall for a guy, who was mature, sweet and kinda naughty? He was my type, besides all the joy and our cyber-made entertainments all night long I had with him. I was happy again... I BELIEVED in love once again!
My mistake... I hoped up already too much.
Suddenly he changed. He didn't appear much at Skype or talk like we used to do. We had lack of exciting conversations. I started to miss him. I was so upset to my fate that when I tried not to fall for him, he was right there, but when I was ready, he was fading.
Within a few months I'd known him, he broke up with his fiance and then a few months later, he got a new girlfriend. I got hurt even more. Again, I tried to forget him, but what happened next? He appeared on my Skype, asking whether I would still want to meet him. Strange... I said 'yes'. I didn't know why after that I was the one who contacted him first. Yet, in our 'strange' relationship, I was just like a 'sex-doll'. He would reply me when he needed me, I'd been used!
You should know when a guy is kinda distracted and there's nothing you can do about it. Leave him behind!
What's worse? He would kick you out from his life by throwing all of his problems to you, blaming you in a way, and end up 'yelling' to you "Damn girl, r u nuuuuuuutttsss? I told you my gf is around!" So, his gf was really there, when we talked and he was afraid that his gf knew about me! He kept me a secret! Argh.... yeah! Then again, "Damn, cant u read? Bye!"
He will hate me forever and hurt me. On that night, I was screaming out loud for my stupidity. Being a third person and getting caught! My whole life is going to be ruined. At that moment, I was thinking to end my life, I avoided my social life on cyberspace and real life, too.
I ended my twitter timeline with scary tweets until my friends were scared to read. And those tweets were linked to my MySpace status updates. I sent blackberry messenger messages to Hanin saying, "Dude.. I'm screwed!" Fitri and Gia read my timeline and retweeted me. Fitri was the one who was sooo freaked out and asked the others to contact me as she couldn't find a way to contact me.
I was thinking to hurt myself before the others hurt me. I was going to ... until there was a notification from my blackberry red light which was on! I was hoping (and scared at the same time) that it was from him! Hoping he would say sorry what he said and all, or I knew that it could be the worst. When I checked it, it was my UberTwitter, my girls were tweeting about me and showing their cares. I screamed even louder to see how selfish I'd been. I was cutting my life off for a guy!
Once again, I backed off. Yaya called me and asked me to calm down and share everything so I might feel better. Sadly, I was crying too hard, even just to breathe I found it difficult. I couldn't talk clearly. After a few moments, Hanin replied my messages and said that I didn't deserve his rude words. Something relieved me.
What surprised me more? A nice stranger I met months ago in MySpace read my Twitter status that were linked to my statuses. He still remembered me and commented on it. It was in English so he could understand it. He's from Australia. I didn't reply at first, as I forgot my password. Then, he sent me a nice message.
Hey Miss Reith,
I just saw your comments in my friends activity list thing and am a bit worried. It sounded like you intended to hurt yourself or worse. I don't mean to pry and I know it's none of my business but are you okay?
You probably don't remember me but we chatted once on here before I'm from Australia and I remember you saying you were from Indonesia. You sounded like a bright & intelligent person with a sweet personality. We all go through rough patches but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. If you don't want to reply or anything that's totally cool I just hope you don't really feel like you need to end it all.
I was touched. Even a stranger tried to help me. I was a stranger to him and he didn't care who I was. He helped me. Thank you, Adam. Now, I know I got a new friend. Hehe... look, we never know how a friend would come up in our life. It was a really sweet message from him. We're no longer strangers to each other.
The next day, Shila, Sophie and Cindy (my CCF friend) bbm-ed me and asked what happened. They encouraged me to keep moving on and put the focus that I was ok. Thanks, buddies!
Then, on Skype, I met Chloe! She is a sweet girl from France. From distance, she tried to get me at the other part of the situation. She was right. I should get my way back and defend my position.
Sometimes, behind a girl, there was an asshole to screw her way that makes her to be stronger.... and some real friends help her to stand up tall.
Thank you, all!