Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Review: Magna Carta 'Tears of Blood' (Crimson Stigmata) - PlayStation 2


Title: Magna Carta: Crimson Stigmata (Tears of Blood)

Released: 2004

System: PlayStation 2
Genre: Action/RPG/Adventure

Creator: Hyung-tae Kim

Publisher: Softmax, South Korea

Age: 13+

Rating:


Sets in Efferia, the Yason tribe has to deal with the spreading illness called Rheuma, which turns the Yason people into stones. Meanwhile, the war between the Yasons and the Humans is continuing. The stereotypes both species have about each other grow the hatred deeper. The Leader of Yason tribe, Queen Amila has two major things in her agenda---to get her people cured from Rheuma and to win the war she has started. The only choice Amila has to do is using the unconquerable power which gaining all the Chi elements in the world---Magna Carta.

The story starts when a boy named Mano is chased by some monsters in a burnt village called Fuget. An old man appeared when the monsters are about to kill Mano. The old man later teaches Mano how to use swords and a little thing about Magna Carta power.

Calintz 
10 years passed, Mano has changed his name into Calintz and is the leader of a group of mercenary called Tears of Blood (American version) or Crimson Stigmata (Korean/Japanese, the original name). The group consists of Haren (Boxing artist), Eonis Milan (An educated mage), Chris Arcway (An inventor of weapons and planes), Maya (A healer), and the most loyal to Calintz, Azel (A young swordsman). All of them are victims of the Yasons’ cruelty. Felicia, Haren’s fiancée, was killed in her duty in healing wounded people in Mirna. She was found only her lower arm with her engagement ring on the finger. Azel, Eonis and Maya lost their parents, killed by Yasons. Plus for Maya, as she later suffers from Aphasiac by witnessing her parents murder. All of their works are managed by Lehas, their director who cannot fight.

For Calintz, he, in some random flashbacks, was known that his hatred to Yason was caused to a tragedy that starts his village’s attack. Mano, young Calintz, met a half-blooded Yason with a vindi (a tattoo which every Yason got from birth. It’s the media for Chi to gain and lose) formed like a butterfly on his left arm. That half-blooded Yason was acting sick in front of Calintz, asking for help. The naïve little Calintz ran back to his village where only the Fuget habitants know the way in, causing the other Yasons able to get their ways into Fuget and attack. In that incident, Calintz found all of the people of Fuget and his beloved teacher killed by the half-blooded Yason and also separated by his best friend (and rival), Hugo, in their escape before Calintz decided to go back.

Calintz and his gang’s journey starts when they were summoned by General Agreian, the Leader of Alliance Soldier (The Army of Humans tribe), to protect the mages in generating Forbidden Magic to beat Yason. Tears of Blood has to beat Orha Duren (the Leader of Blast Worms, an elite soldiers of the Yason) though the fight then is interrupted. The mages fail as the Queen of Yason generates Magna Carta to reflect the Forbidden Magic.

Calintz recalls his gang to re-plan their strategy in Lester. In their way back, another Blast Worms soldier, Roxy Midka, shows up and summons her Stealheart. The fight ends as the bridge they are fighting on cannot hold Stealheart’s weight. Though Calintz tells his friends to get aside from the bridge, he doesn’t leave until the bridge broken.

Calintz is almost died after falling from the broken bridge and is helped by an amnesiac young woman who happens to have healing ability, Reith. Her name is the only thing she remembers. Calintz thinks Reith is from Amabat by recognising her ability to heal. As his gratitude for her, he promises to get her back to Amabat.

During their way to re-join with Calintz’s mates, Reith shows that she has a deep sympathy for every human kind, both Yasons and Humans. She almost helps a wounded Yason.

Though Calintz wants to take Reith back to Amabat, his job in dealing with fighting Yasons orders keep up. Calintz takes an order from General Agreian to fight in Mirna, and asks General Agreian to have some soldiers to escort Reith back to Amabat. It is known that General Agreian is a son of Mistress Ladrinne, the leader of Amabat, the spirituality center of Efferia.

For unclear reasons, the Yason tries a few times to kidnap Reith. Calintz and the gang have to save her and take her to some doctor to find out what happens with Reith’s past, about why the Yasons are after her though they don’t want to hurt her even a little. Amabat, then sends a special escort, Justina, to be with Reith everywhere she goes and helps her to regain her memory. Mistress Ladrinne even wants to put Reith in her list to be her successor of the future of Amabat leader.

In the middle of Reith’s way, she has to separate with Calintz and the others. Only with Justina, she meets a married woman, Rianna, who is looking for her husband. She tells that her husband, Astal, left for studying Chi and Carta.

On the other hand, Calintz is summoned by General Agreian to get all the elements that are hidden in different 7 places in order to use Magna Carta and Light of Salvation to end the war. During their journey, Lehas dies killed by the Yasons who are trying to get Reith, who actually isn’t available in the headquarters. Calintz and the gang realize that Reith is actually the key of the whole mystery.

Somehow, Reith’s sacrifices are Calintz’ and his gang’s initial lesson to stop their revenge…

Magna Carta: Tears of Blood (or Crimson Stigmata) is a Korean-Japanese game, developed by Softmax Korea and Banpresto Japan. In US, it’s published by Altus. The characters are designed by Hyung-Tae Kim, Korean artist who created OXIDE art book. Released in 2004.

[Capital+of+Efferia.jpg]
Efferia

My review: Nice story and plot. FABOLOUS! The complicated story line won’t stop you from playing till the final battle. It’s very intriguing one. The story surely consumes you in curiosity as the random flashbacks will appear in some cases. I can say it’s very beautiful and unique story and scripts… make it as an RPG you’ll never forget. Very touching friendship and tragic love story. You will never guess what’s the ending is going to be like.

It’s not like other story, where a successful revenge would be the happy ending. The story turns that the characters are awaken by the truth, and starts to make peace. Another story for building peace…

The characters are very deep and strong. Mixed in the story, where you can see what the points of friendship, love and the revenge in your real life are. It’s truly a game that would make you learn something, not only just playing the game. 

You’re going to love the designs. There are many beautiful views of places and buildings. The concepts are mixture of Japanese-Korean with the Westerns. It is seemed that the details are also well-considered to create. The mixtures of different cultures are most seen in the characters costumes through the model of the skirt, collar and traditional motives.

The opening songs are great, especially the Korean version. ‘Rain’ by Ji-Young Eom is heard to have deeper feelings and shaking you into the core rather than ‘Tears of Blood’ by Gabriella Moreno for the American version. I didn’t say it’s not a good song, maybe ‘Tears of Blood’ song isn’t just fit with the game and the opening credit. The instrumental songs during the game and battle are fantastic too, but not more agreeable compared to other games, like FF VIII or FF X. 

For the battle systems, it isn’t difficult as it’s seen. There’s a parameter in the above-right screen which shows your turns when the red lines reach the points and as well as the enemy’s. One of your fighters dies in the party battle, it would count a losing points, which makes your turns in the parameter go slower for you to get your turn to attack. To attack, you need to complete 3-button-hit in Trinity Circle. The button you have to hit is according to the style of the fight and the elements you use. Those 3 buttons will appear in the standard mode. But it won’t appear in Combo mode or Crazy mode. There’s also a Counter attack to counter the enemy’s style of battle.

The story would surely stay in your mind for years…

First published on my review blog at http://reith-jerevinan.blogspot.com



Sunday, November 21, 2010

First Movie

Wanna watch my first animation movie I made with my high school friends, Dini and Kelly?

We were all girls but we made war movie. It was a short one, due to the annual IT and Design Competition. It's national-wide competition, so thousands of schools were competing against my group, but we won!!!

It was really short and you might find the story line blur. There is the story line, of course, only we, the makers, didn't focus on that too much, since we're showing the techniques and effects, mixed with short scene of a plane war.

Here it is the Best Project Nomination Winner for Ajang Kreasi Siswa 2007, High Schooler's Category!

La Guerre...



Enjoy! =)

-bree-
xoxo

Saturday, November 20, 2010

A Sweet Little Forgotten Regard

Weeks ago, actually my mom just got back from Guang Zhou and brought some pistachios!! Heh... I love those pistachiooossss....

Pistachios!!! *kiss kiss*


Ok, Bree... slooowww down!
Yep! My sis has been staying in Xiamen for her study and she bought me Doraemon figurine! Soooo happy! She told me on Skype, "I bought you Doraemon figurine, pooping while reading a book! I remember you like Doreamon, right? If you don't, just give it to me, I like it, too!" When I read her message, I burst out laughing. She also said that the Doraemon figurine will nod his head under the sunlight. SO CUTE!

I told her, "Of course I want it soooo bad!" This is gonna be my second Doraemon figurine after the one I got from Japanese junk food kids meal package! Ha! ... Actually, the embarrassing part is that I'm a big life-time fan of Doraemon, but at 20 years of my age, I only have two figurines! I should have more! Hyaaa.... Where to get it? LOL I remember it was a funny thing to greet my mom back when she was home, then she handed me that figurine. Me myself still couldn't believe it that time, having this cute Doraemon figurine. What a blessing... thanks, sis! Thanks, mom!

It's been almost a week, my mom has been in Jakarta with me. A few days ago, she told me that she forgot something. "I forgot something, someone sent you a regard," she said to me when we were at the kitchen. I was confused, really. I had no idea whom it would be. "Remember your auntie in China? She sent you regard."

Wow! It's been years I haven't seen her and her husband... and she still remembers me. The last time we met was when I was in first year of grade school. I was 6, and now I'm 20 years old. Gosh, 14 years! Then my mom told me that she even remembers my name (my Chinese name) when asking about me. Sheila (read: Shi-la, in English pronunciation). OMG, isn't it sweet?

Her son, my cousin, actually ever visited us once a few years ago. But I didn't remember that much, because I saw him once, only a few moments. I don't speak Chinese and he can't speak English. We didn't communicate verbally, only we exchanged some smiles and nods. He talked more to my dad and my mom in Chinese. But I thought I knew one sentence he asked to my dad. It was something like, "Is she the youngest daughter? My youngest cousin of the youngest?", "How old is she?", and "Is she in school?". Somehow, I remember how he looked and stared at me. Quite a long one. Hahaha... But now, I know why he did.

Then my mom retold me what my auntie said. My auntie was told by her son that I've grown up and very beautiful. Gosh... I didn't lie on that part! It was true... her son said so to her, and she retold it to my mom. I can't believe he thinks I'm beautiful!!! Ahay.... *blushed*

However, my auntie was shocked when my mom told her that I'm 20 years old now. It could be very funny, as the last time she saw me, I was a girl with hair in braid and innocent smile. It would be hard for her to imagine how I look like now. Just a fact that she misses that I'm quite a bitchy 20-year-old girl!

One thing I remember of her of saying that I have a very white skin. Hahaha.... Thinking back to those days. Good old days!


Friday, November 19, 2010

How Far You Discriminate People and How Young Are You For?

What did you see when you were 5 years old of people with slit eyes and fair skin? And what do you see of people with tanned skin and round eyes?
What do you see of yourself?

I was born in discriminative country. Well, everywhere is discriminative. But, hey, yes I'm not native Indonesian, I'm a foreigner. Although, I have this citizenship and local ID, that don't mean that I can be real Indonesian. These slit eyes and fair skin are my ID!

People won't care if you get the ID or Citizenship Letter or Indonesian Passport. My look has answered all million dollars question. Chinese-Japanese. A total foreigner. Former imperialist. Me? Just whatever.

Every new student who joins my class would always ask me, "Miss, where do you come from?" I never replied directly, instead, I always ask back, "Guess where? Where do you think I come from?"

Funny, my students, sometimes, are mistaken that I'm Asian-American because of my 'west-coast' accent. But to my kindergarten students, they would shoot an answer "Chinese!" or "Japanese!", and sometimes it happens to, "Korean!!!!" *daanggg*

So what makes me upset lately was....  my students! It wasn't the first time that they made out trouble. Well those cute little demons are made of trouble. They made jokes behind my back, something related to the fact that I'm Chinese-Japanese!!!

OMG, I've been so nice to them. I'm a temperamental person, but for this job, I try my best not to show my anger easily and inappropriately until I got myself crazy! Argh... They started some gossip which probably they heard from their parents to their classmates. I was like, what's my fault to them and to their parents? Why is it a problem that I'm a foreign asian?

Oh c'mon, I was born this way and there's no way I could choose. I can't regret it either. Why should I? Those people look the outer all the time. They're jealous of my a-lil-tanned white skin and exotic eyes! Yeehaaa! But the point is, why should the parents sow the seed of jealousy and hatred toward others to their young children?

The cute little demons are sooo pure to be contaminated with your discriminative culture. Once I hear, 'Hey, Miss Bree is a Chinese-Japanese and she........ *peeeeeeeppp*', I will drop your children out of my class!

Featured: I'm on #HappyOnMyOwn 'Simaho Strip'

Whew... I can't wait to share this!


"Being gay isn’t an option. And love is so unconditional that it could happen to us to love same sex or different. Just be happy to love!

The sentence above is my testimonial posted on the blog Happy On My Own. It was hard to me to make a short one, as I have soo many things to say about LGBT. I really wanna give them my whole support and want them to feel happy. They have rights to be and they should be! Being is a gay isn't option, you're born to be. I've never made a choice to be a straight. But when the time comes, I know I'm straight. So as the gay. To me, being gay or straight is about existence.

All I see on LGBT people is the one they choose to be with for the rest of their lives---whom they love. As I'm straight girl, I would choose a man, and a gay guy would choose another man. Love is unconditional that it could happen to us to love same-sex or different.

HappyOnMyOwn website shares comic strips on LGBT issues and photos of people in t-shirt with 'Simaho' icon on it. We, the sympathizers, would leave a testimonials on being LGBT. I'm quite happy to do this, as they're so open to me, who is straight =P  Also, I'm so proud that they're so confident, too, in showing themselves to the world. I like the way they do it. It's hard to be ourselves when not many people are like us. I was amazed.

It can inspire many other people, not only the gays, but also other people who still feel uncomfortable with their own skin. Sometimes, although I'm a straight, it doesn't mean that I can easily dare to be myself. From the websites, I learn something and I want to make people happy.

'Simaho' the icon is actually inspired from the 'Maho' icon in Kaskus. The 'Maho' icon is a form of discrimination to LGBT people. HappyOnMyOwn now tries to turn over the negative side of LGBT by smoothly educating the society about what LGBT really is. Through the comic-strip and testimonials, people's negative opinion, one day, will change.

P.S. Do you know that 30% of CEO in US are gays? Well, what I see about gays and lesbians is that they're mostly hotties! So, whoever you are, just be happy on your own!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Flirty Guy

On Tuesday, I was on my way to work from school. So it was around 1PM. It was rainy and that made me in a good mood. Besides, the next day (on Wednesday).... HOLIDAY!

No traffic, no long queue... so damn perfect! But when I was on the TransJakarta bus, a guy who took charge on that bus (not the driver), in a sudden, approached me at my seat.
"Hey miss, where are you going?"

I was like, huh? But I replied politely, "I'm going to 'xxx'. Why?"

Then, I realized the bus was empty, except me, this guy and the driver! I was quite freaked out. I didn't realize I was the only passenger. He, again, replied my question and chuckled a bit, "Nooo... nothing..."

I looked down to my cellphone screen, as before I was browsing some news. He kept asking questions, like...
"Why are you going there?"

"Oh, you work there? Where is it for exact?"

"What's your job?"

"So everyday you take this bus?"

I was soo tired to answer his questions. I mean, why did he have to ask those questions? What's the problem with me? Well... I can tell you now that I hate the way his smile. Flirty. And as a passenger and a PIC... it's not nice. Ok? And it was obvious of my way reacting to his questions weren't so open and I did show him that I felt uncomfortable. But he kept approaching me and asking questions that he didn't have to ask.

Until I stood up and asked, "Why??? Why do you wanna know?!"

Again, he gave the same reply, "No, nothing, just asking."

I was pretty upset and quite scared at the same time as I was alone at that TransJakarta bus. I was tooo upset to look up and see his name tag. But, listen (read) this! You should look up and notice his name. It's something I regret. If something happens, you need to know who you will report.

That time, I didn't get a chance to. I was kinda careless. That thought didn't come up to me. But next time, when something happens or not, just try to notice the driver or person in charge's name, code, route or something like taxi number that might be clue. Just in case.

Thankfully, I wasn't there too long. A few moments, I reached the bus stop and got down. I wish I would never get into that bus again. Especially, get that bus, ALONE!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Brokenheart (Lover of All Women Part 2)

... and oh, come on. Who would not ever fall for a guy, who was mature, sweet and kinda naughty? He was my type, besides all the joy and our cyber-made entertainments all night long I had with him. I was happy again... I BELIEVED in love once again!

My mistake... I hoped up already too much.

Suddenly he changed. He didn't appear much at Skype or talk like we used to do. We had lack of exciting conversations. I started to miss him. I was so upset to my fate that when I tried not to fall for him, he was right there, but when I was ready, he was fading.

Within a few months I'd known him, he broke up with his fiance and then a few months later, he got a new girlfriend. I got hurt even more. Again, I tried to forget him, but what happened next? He appeared on my Skype, asking whether I would still want to meet him. Strange... I said 'yes'. I didn't know why after that I was the one who contacted him first. Yet, in our 'strange' relationship, I was just like a 'sex-doll'. He would reply me when he needed me, I'd been used!

You should know when a guy is kinda distracted and there's nothing you can do about it. Leave him behind!

What's worse? He would kick you out from his life by throwing all of his problems to you, blaming you in a way, and end up 'yelling' to you "Damn girl, r u nuuuuuuutttsss? I told you my gf is around!" So, his gf was really there, when we talked and he was afraid that his gf knew about me! He kept me a secret! Argh.... yeah! Then again, "Damn, cant u read? Bye!"

He will hate me forever and hurt me. On that night, I was screaming out loud for my stupidity. Being a third person and getting caught! My whole life is going to be ruined. At that moment, I was thinking to end my life, I avoided my social life on cyberspace and real life, too.

I ended my twitter timeline with scary tweets until my friends were scared to read. And those tweets were linked to my MySpace status updates. I sent blackberry messenger messages to Hanin saying, "Dude.. I'm screwed!" Fitri and Gia read my timeline and retweeted me. Fitri was the one who was sooo freaked out and asked the others to contact me as she couldn't find a way to contact me.

I was thinking to hurt myself before the others hurt me. I was going to ... until there was a notification from my blackberry red light which was on! I was hoping (and scared at the same time) that it was from him! Hoping he would say sorry what he said and all, or I knew that it could be the worst. When I checked it, it was my UberTwitter, my girls were tweeting about me and showing their cares. I screamed even louder to see how selfish I'd been. I was cutting my life off for a guy!

Once again, I backed off. Yaya called me and asked me to calm down and share everything so I might feel better. Sadly, I was crying too hard, even just to breathe I found it difficult. I couldn't talk clearly. After a few moments, Hanin replied my messages and said that I didn't deserve his rude words. Something relieved me.

What surprised me more? A nice stranger I met months ago in MySpace read my Twitter status that were linked to my statuses. He still remembered me and commented on it. It was in English so he could understand it. He's from Australia. I didn't reply at first, as I forgot my password. Then, he sent me a nice message.

Hey Miss Reith,
I just saw your comments in my friends activity list thing and am a bit worried. It sounded like you intended to hurt yourself or worse. I don't mean to pry and I know it's none of my business but are you okay?
You probably don't remember me but we chatted once on here before I'm from Australia and I remember you saying you were from Indonesia. You sounded like a bright & intelligent person with a sweet personality. We all go through rough patches but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. If you don't want to reply or anything that's totally cool I just hope you don't really feel like you need to end it all.
Adam

I was touched. Even a stranger tried to help me. I was a stranger to him and he didn't care who I was. He helped me. Thank you, Adam. Now, I know I got a new friend. Hehe... look, we never know how a friend would come up in our life. It was a really sweet message from him. We're no longer strangers to each other.

The next day, Shila, Sophie and Cindy (my CCF friend) bbm-ed me and asked what happened. They encouraged me to keep moving on and put the focus that I was ok. Thanks, buddies!

Then, on Skype, I met Chloe! She is a sweet girl from France. From distance, she tried to get me at the other part of the situation. She was right. I should get my way back and defend my position.

Sometimes, behind a girl, there was an asshole to screw her way that makes her to be stronger.... and some real friends help her to stand up tall.

Thank you, all!

Lover of All Women

Maybe you all can learn from my experience. Last week, I had another drama... big messy drama, I can tell.

I met this mysterious guy last year. He kept appearing on my facebook, under "People You May Know" or "Suggestions". I completely never knew this guy before, including heard of his name or see his name somewhere. His last name was quite unique so it lasted in my head. Besides, the reason his facebook account appeared on my facebook's suggestion was mutual friends.

It was quite questioning that we have random mutual friends. Yet, mostly of the mutual friends were my classmates in freshman year class. As I was never close to my friends in freshman, so I'd never had chance to ask who he actually was.

My conclusion, briefly, was that he might be a lecturer. Then, in a incident, I knew he wasn't. So, I was sooo curious until I added him. He approved me and we talked through facebook chat.

He.... was nice! He asked me how he could refer me, what I liked and all... I didn't expect that he could be that sweet. So then, I trusted him and became friends. Soon, although he was engaged, we went into deeper conversations, we had our Skype accounts and Blackberry Messenger ID. He ... made me happy!

I just broke up with my ex in US. My heart was completely empty with pain and loss and he was right there, giving excitements and warmth that I missed. He really did fit the missing piece somewhere inside me. I forgot the day and time of the moment where I started to put him above my everything.

I knew very well, that time, that I was wrong. He was engaged. But he came to me, showing his interest. To be honest, I was flattered. I tried many ways to avoid him, or at least, to conduct my feelings not to snuggle up much to his words and existence. I couldn't. The more I tried, the more frequent he kept appearing on chats and the deeper conversations and actions we did.

I knew him better day by day. His sacrifice and struggle. His loving side and hobbies. Anything about him... I can say, we have some similarities. Until then, we met in real life.

<continue>

Lately...

Sorry for being missing...

For these two weeks, I had my midterm test. I didn't feel into it so... I don't know now, what will happen with the result. Ahay!!!

But, what I'm going to share is that this month has been a hard phase for me, compared to last month when I had so many nice things came up. Once again, 'but', I know I have to still be grateful to know the truth of who are my friends---who really care about me and love me.

Within the whole struggle, I still have some blessings...

In the middle of that, I'm still working on some reviews, school task, and hanging out with my friends for QGathering and for random hang-out on the weekend. So the first of those two weeks wasn't bad ones at all. It's always nice to meet some friends, chat and take pics.

Moi, avec La Pina Colada
Me and the girls (Vien, Yuli, Me and Val

Me and Budi

Sophie and Me

Me and Yudi
Too many to mention.. =P
Just like I told you the first week wasn't bad, but the second week was. REALLY WAS!!! So the midterm test went crazier and I didn't prepare so well. To be honest, I was lazy and now I'm regretting it.

Still, I was quite happy to meet some new cool friends and hanging out... So fun! I met Ijal, David and Tulus and some other.

Eat. Eat. Eat.
Tulus, Yuli and Me at Sency
Some of us
Also on the second week, on Saturday dawn for exact, I had a bad messy drama with a guy!!! Ugh... Hate it! I won't forget that tragedy... Anyway, will tell soon on next post!

Then... last one, I wanna share another blessing...


*drum rolls*





My book order has arrived.... A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah
It's arrived, it's arrived.... *happy* ... Thank you, Kinokuniya!

So happy....

see you soon!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Within a Few Hours, oh Yes, Me? Who?



It was just a few couple of hours away...

but,

It was last year, we knew each other. Starting what you called as 'an adventure'.

It was yesterday, a moment I know that you'll hate me forever.

I can't leave these words that sound cliche, that you really filled a piece of my empty heart. It was hard when you came, it was beautiful when you breakthrough.

Late nights with dirty minds as we caught in in cyberspace. An odd way to start, yet we did.

We met and talked, less that 2 hours for real after a few months. No lust. Just smiles.

And yes, I love you!

I'm in love with you... When you told me not to, it was way too late...

I don't wanna see... what you think I want to see. I just wanna see you, not 'you'.

I can't stop thinking the next day when we can be together again. Though, that day would never come. Never ever.

I have these words, yearns, and loves (with desire) that none have you known.

Millions of things I want us to share, but none have we done.

There were only two sentences. I got hurt to tears, ended my night. Fear and shame. I was nothing. I've been nothing. I'm only your trouble. I'm sorry to know whom I've been to you. I'm sorry to know that you don't have the same vision like I do for us both.

Many times I said that it's over---a decision I had always taken back, a decision I had always regretted. I'm sorry... for thinking to leave you and to stay.

It's all my mistake. Within you and my ego, I've been so deeply lost. I can't figure the way out. A couple of hours back, everything was so clear and obvious. You bold the line where 'I'm nothing' lies down in my heart, your mind and a line that separates us.

I'm nothing. I'm a trouble. I'm no longer a part of your adventure.

Thank you and goodbye...

Love,

-Bree-

Monday, November 8, 2010

Competitive Blog - What is this all about?

Have you ever seen blog rankings stuff? Well... what do you think of it? Do you want to put that in your blog? Give me the reasons of your whatever answer...

When I firstly thought about blogging, I just wanted to write. I'm a writer wanna be, so that's obvious =P

I have put that blog ranking stuff on my both previous review blog and personal blog. Well, as I'm not that good at writing and blogging, my popularity hasn't risen up that much. Infamous, that's the word! Ha!

Shortly, let's talk about the impact it had given to me... writing with rush hour! It looks like blogging = deadline. More particularly... DEATH-line. So, I'm supposed to be dead.

Blogging should contain of writings and pictures that comes from inside you. You want it posted, then you have it on the cyberspace. Does it come that often? It depends on you. You can answer it yourself. No right or wrong answer.

Sometimes, there are so many things in my head, queuing to be written down and posted. But do I have that much time for it? Nope! Then, there's a moment, sometimes in my life, where I have so many spare time to write. And do I still have many things to write down? Not at all! When I have the time, then it's also time for having writer's block. Ugh...

So the blog ranking will notify you to keep on working on your blog traffic, then if you go down from your previous blog rank, they will send you another notifications. Stressful, isn't it? I can say that it would make you feel like you haven't paid your bill. You keep stressing on how you should or could manage to work it out.

Come on... it's blog! It's not article you have to submit to your editor. It's where you can write and share other things from your heart, without time limit and all the shitty stuffs. So, no need to care if there might be people who actually read your blog or not and who. Just make it as a feedback while people leave your blog, so you know how to keep up with your writing. Just to keep up with your writing, not for the blog rank. Thank you!

Strange Feeling

There's a strange feeling I've got lately. Another hint, I also divert my food choice from pasta and potatoes to rice as my daily carbohydrate. Besides, I have a strange changes of mood.. and it's not PMS!

I don't know what to say about this. It feels like something bad and I'm worried about my family, especially my mom. This disturbs me a lot these days. The feeling is getting more intense and more bad thoughts coming up into my head. The more I try to distract my mind from these things, the more I get confused.

Oh, I love my family. These times, I can only think and say my heart how much I love them and how they meant to me. I really don't know what's going on... with me or with everything around me. I keep tracking back on what I've been and whom I've been for them. It's like my time is running out.

Somehow, I'm always ready to leave... I always am. But, I just can't imagine to watch people leave. This strange feeling gets me crazy.

I hope everything is ok...

or, maybe I just need some sleep.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Mourn of the Ashes


As it has been reported all over the world, my country is having a terrible condition. Several calamities were just happening. Wasior for its flood, Mentawai for another Tsunami, and eruption of Merapi. We have also been haunted by the possibility that Jakarta, the city I'm living, would be badly effected if the Krakatoa explodes.

So far, I've been just alright in Jakarta. The Krakatoa hasn't exploded yet, and the disaster sites are miles away from the town. Somehow, the eruption of Merapi is reported too massive and it has erupted like 3 or 4 times in these 2 weeks. The ashes are so dangerous and it can be spread throughout the Yogyakarta. Two cities near mine, like Bandung and Bogor, have been effected by the ashes which contain of Si 02/Silica (industrial glass material. That's how I was told in a random blackberry messanger). My sister in China has warned me and my fam in Jakarta.

These trials have been some kind of wake-up-call for the nations...

I saw some ads in almost anywhere, broadcast messages on BlackBerry, some twibbons written like "Pray For Indonesia", and companies and organizations open a bank account to pile the donations for the victim. One takes my attention is the one with 'let's forget the differences to help the victims of Merapi' message.

It's been years living in the country with discrimination. Under the stigma 'not Islam means you're heathen, not native you're outsider'. Now, the wake-up-call has made the words.

When we're told that the ashes from Merapi is getting closer to Jakarta, there's another BBM message sent to me. 'Pray with your own religions (or way) for the safety for Indonesia'. I was like, 'pray... in my religion?'

It's not that I prioritize the unimportant thing into this kind of situation. Isn't it too late JUST to pray? You're too conceited if you think without doing anything except praying can save you.

And is this time when you finally recognize that there's a religion beside Islam?

It IS time to forget the differences. I have forgotten, only Indonesia is left behind to do this. I am trying to say that THIS TIME is 'to ACT', besides 'to PRAY'. Like what Mother Teresa said,
"Ora et Labora"
To work while you pray. A real prayer that you do inside you, and not the one you show others.

However, Indonesia has been a discriminative country for years, since there's Communist Party Movements Tragedy and 1998 May and the following years ahead, you just can still feel it. It's a country where the nations is showing pride of diversity that exists, living in a (fake) peace. You would agree with me if you have objective judgement on this, or if you live as Christian/Catholic, Buddhist, Hindu, Agnostic, Atheist and/or you're not born as Native Indonesian, and/or also if you're LGBT person.

In this kind of situation, why do people now open their eyes on differences that exist and that we should make a REAL peace in between? Why do people link this calamity with the differences of religious stuff? Why do people now accept other religions/race/groups to also join to pray and help? Why do they accept these differences when they need help and are stuck in fear?

Now, we, the minors, exist?

The calamity can happen to anyone. Now that people make a relation that this is something to do with the existence with other (lately recognized) groups and their prayers. When I pray, I don't need anyone to tell me so. It's a reflect action that my nerve in brain will tell me to do and I don't need to show it to other people. I can do it my heart, while people can see me working as usual or prepare for the worst possibility that might happen. Ora et Labora. It's not about praying and your religion. Not about differences. It's just about what you can do. Not a special time to pray that stops you from doing 'the action'.

Ora et Labora, that's the key.

Monday, November 1, 2010

3 Events Today!

This morning, I went to PestaBlogger event at a new place called Epicentrum in Kuningan. I didn't enjoy that much, yet I was quite having fun with my friend (finally we met for the 2nd times), Hanindyo, and then I got a new nice friend, Della. Hmm... about the PestaBlogger thing, I just didn't get the point of the event and blog-related that brought into the event.

But, the goodie bag was kinda shocking big... and I got something interesting in there. Two books! They're both in Indonesian, so it would take a few months to read. Yet, I found one of them is more interesting than the other one. It's about inspirational stories of successful people. Nice one... (I know why it was VERY HEAVY!!!)


It's the first hours of my Saturday...

The second segment was meeting my Q girls in Plaza Setiabudi. Lunch lunch lunch... Here are some of our sushi's pics!








And yeah... what we did after we finished those sushis? I was taken back to Epicentrum by my girls! LOLLL... Back to the same place for twice in a day. I went to XXI this time with the others, but didn't watch any movie there. And what did I have? Another drinks...


An hour later...

I was at GrandIndo and watched at Blitz with Ivan. Takers. Once and again, I didn't really enjoy (the movie). What did I enjoy? Togetherness. Friends and good meal... all that matter, always!

That was for today....Bye!

Saturday, 30 October 2010