Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Fear of what you've been born to be

People love making jokes about typical person. Okay, fine. Maybe there isn't something fun in the lives. Just pity them somehow. You can play with stereotypes, but just don't be too serious on that. Why? It doesn't work on everyone. Lemme give you example, I'm Chinese, but I'm the only one who never thinks about having money-oriented business. It's not that I don't thing further for my future, I just know what I can live with.

My choice for becoming a writer or journalist made my family once shocked. I'm Chinese girl, and this country hates me. "What if you have to report on a riot? You'll be attacked as you're a girl, and you got slit eyes," my mom said. Yes, I know what it takes. That's why, I leave political issue far away from my head. Pretend like I don't know anything. Now, I'm more to lifestyle, traveling,... any feature writing. I don't wanna go to work on TV station. I don't want people to see and recognize me. That's it. I'd rather stay low profile. It's safer.

Oh yeah, sometimes I can't leave my anger behind seeing those stupid capitalist player in the government. Or, the demons who stand on Holy Bible, who once burned this country into ashes in May 1998, or bombed my church on Christmas Eve years ago. If you have ever heard about Yasmin Church or Islamic Front Defender attacking Ahmadiyah... if you're parts of minority with me, you know your existence are still in danger in this country. Things haven't changed.

Lately, I found an old article about a guy, Chinese guy, who was a gay man. He was attacked because he was gay. And what made it worse for him? He's Chinese, so those demons think he's double shot bully.

It's not about me, feeling special of what I've been born. I'm not giving negative thoughts about anyone. No! Not at all! It's fear that I got, as these people never open up to diversity. They keep playing with the stereotype that doesn't match with me. Moreover, they enjoy hurting people with dumb reasons. I know some people of the same race with mine are kinda.. annoying and also racist. I have such people in my grand family, and I hate them too. Let's see the bigger picture, racism and hatred aren't coming from only one side. I don't want a defense. But the majority isn't always right and the good person, while minority is the bad guy.

It's hard for me to live as a normal person who is free and powered by curiosity. Mentally, I'm restricted. While this country has so many things to explore, I only can touch some part of it. I have to let the other side of the world I'm living darker than the night. The fear is also with the whole family, too. Inside, I still have people around you who made me frightened of anything. Within their worry and racism experience in the past, fear in me gets stronger.

My mom stopped going to school as her Chinese school was closed down in 30 September Communist Movement. In May 1998, my school and its surrounding got attacked, robbed and burned down. In these years, there had been many rumours that would be another riot that targetted the Chinese. Hoax or not. Everyday is never safe for everyone.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Some (Changes) to Share

So I thought it would be long for me to abandon this blogging thingy... But I guess, it's been quite, errr, oops, very very long time for not blogging. Kinda miss to write of course. I hope I won't lose anything.

So far, things are fine. I'm still alive (at least until today, dunno about tomorrow). My internship is almost over, but yet I'm recruited at the same place, so it's a good sign for my newly-built writing career. As for my school, I'm getting stuck in finishing my first chapter. For exact, Chapter 1.1. Yes, the background! Much to say, lack of knowledge and time. Overall, the lesson that I got is...I know I can't do something that I thought I couldn't. To me, that's sounded fantastic. It often happens to me that I can't do a thing I'm very confident about, just all in a sudden. Something gotta change from now on.

This morning, my sister who's been living in the States just visit me and my fam in Indo for 3 weeks....which is a cool thing. This is the second time I meet my niece, and the first time to see her younger sister. Kinda rare opportunity. So I got to use my time right. School, work, side job, hobby, and fam quality time. And another impact is that I can't have my privacy. My bedroom is going to be used for the whole 3 weeks and I need to sleep in my mom's. All my stuff, except some dolls, books, CDs, DVDs, scrapbook kits (damn, I miss scrapbooking), drawing and painting kits (including all of other art kits) will stay in mine. I take my big Shadow doggy with me to sleep with. Seriously, actually, to be honest, it's kinda hard thing that I can't have my privacy, doing private stuff, being around people at home and not able to be alone and nowhere to put your stuff after getting home, tired and all. Should I change?

As you know, as I'm working in wedding magazine. My point of view about marriage and wedding hasn't changed a little. Sadly, a friend's wedding that I've prepared a new dress for... I didn't go. For shitty life I had, too bad! Some friends suddenly come up with the idea of proposing their lovers. Some friends suddenly...without any planning shared to us....got married. And for some friends who already told us about getting married, they cancel it. Just in right time, just in a few days before. But yeah... I can't lie if wedding stuff like invitations, party ideas (and details included), dresses and all are truly sweet and fun. I won't have any wedding for sure, but I can have it for my book launch party. Maybe? Who knows... =) I'm crossing my fingers for that.

Recently, the counseling programme hasn't restarted yet. The book selling thingy is still under obstacle, of which I'm feeling rather troubled about. And the film fest went well and it's done already. Also, I met some new good friends. So, it's cool. Right now, I'm looking for more sidejobs I can take. My financial life needs to be fixed in time.

I feel like killing these deadlines. I just can't wait to feel relax and get a break from this hectic world. I want to meet my friends whom I've not been seeing for long and I need to have fun. Lately I got some getting-20-year-old probs: new teeth coming up, with fever and some other sh*ts. Kinda crazy. But I need to get a medical check up, not only for my teeth. But for all, as I think I'm sick. Really sick. It's going to be too much for me to handle to live. What's great to do next? Getting new clothes, shoes, all ... and going to get my hair cut (just a little).

I miss my (busy) normal life.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

(Crazy) Night Out For Writers

So I’ve been thinking lately about staying out late at night somewhere far (not that far) from home.

I want to write. As I’m a night person, I enjoy the dark of the night and cold breeze along those wonderful hours. It would create great mood to write. More fun? Getting away from home, staying nowhere. Temporary nomadic. Writing with amazing view of town in the night, with only city lights and wandering car lights. Interesting?

In Jakarta, I’ve been searching place to write, cozzy place with perfect view. I got my laptop now I can write mobile. There are some 24-hour cafes to go and to write at. 

But before, what’s good about it? First, I’ve been a very home person. I stay at home more and only gain inspiration in my bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, and my noisy garden. With the heat and busy neighbour screaming out loud to almost everyone. Getting somewhere new and be outside at those hours (late, dark, empty roads, breezy) is just something felt so amazing and different to me. Challenging power as my mood booster. 

And now, I’m quite early, not at the time like i mentioned, but I’m just inspired to write at this Lounge, at Mulia Senayan Hotel in Jakarta. Actually, I’m waiting for tonight’s fashion show but I arrive too advance. I decided to visit the lounge to get some tea or coffee. This time, I know my idea to write out....will work!

Here are some recommendations for you:   

Busy street. Enjoy seeing them from above,
not in the middle of it!
  1.  Starbucks Kemang. Open 24-hours. They got second floor and which is outdoor one. Write above the busy streets in Kemang. Kemang is always busy no matter what time it is. The breeze and the sound of people chatting around you, laughing out loud are perfect background. 
  2. Social House Grand Indonesia. Actually it’s not 24-hours, but it opens till late for the weekend. Try to get seated by the window with HI fountain view. OMIGOSH... Wonderful night! And have fun dating with your writing project ^^
  3. Sarinah. They got many places open for 24 hours, there are Starbucks, Oh La La Cafe and Burger King. I prefer to go Starbucks and Oh La La (they also got nice meal). And the opposite road, there’s sarinah building where there’s MU cafe. It’s not 24-hour I guess, but kewl. And also McDonalds, they also got a cafe at the second floor, nice place to write.   

    ...and oh, the waitress just lit the candle on my table. It’s almost 6 pm, getting darker, getting more romantic here!
    4. Rent an apartment. I suggest Kempinski, Sudirman Park, or Rasuna. Try to get a room on 20something level and enjoy the night view that boost your mood.
    5. In US? Try to have a road trip, and in the middle oh high way, there’s always a stop-by coffee shop, isn’t it? Try it!
    6. Lounge at Mulia Hotel. This is the place where it all started. Enjoy the cozzy atmosphere and the jazz band starting at 6 pm. You’ll love it. Everytime you got stuck, just distract your mind and enjoy the music!
The candle light is lit. And the jazz band has just started. Romantic!

Why is this all for? Here’s a video that ‘scientifically’ explains about this idea.

...what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


It's been a long time for not writing here on my lovely blog...Miss you my blog!

So, I have been busy with my internship process, which is a requirement for my study, and preparing for my thesis writing, and preparing the film festival, and and and and.....writing my own book!

I don't know when I could finish them all. But, I do enjoying my internship moment with cool people who helps me to improve my writing and reporting skills. I owe them so much. =D Firstly, I wasn't really sure that I was about to get the job. I was really frustrated that they hadn't called me for a few weeks. When I got the call, OMG, I got burst out of happiness!!!

The thing is everyone is having their school holiday this month, but I get to go to work. Well, to me it's much better, rather than staying at home doing nothing. Although, I know I could do something else, like cooking, scrapbooking, or gardening...or watch DVDs and play video games?

Anyway, I wish there's more than 24 hours to run in a day. Maybe 36 hours could be more enough for a living multitasker like me. Or more? I can't stop doing this and  that. Internship, event organizing, community service, preparing for thesis writing, and doing this subtitle translation which happens to be my latest side job. Too much cool stuff to do!

Lately, I just passed a moment where I got financial problem, stuck with how less time could be for doing almost everything, and state where I kinda miss something and having doubt of the path I've been taking. Regret it? Yes...a bit. Confuse? Very much. Yet, I'm still holding to what I've been believing. Wish me luck!

In this kind of situation, I feel like friendships are being complicated in a way. Like a friend who just shows up when he/she needs me and contact me just for asking silly question and a friend who demands too much. He/she can just be mad at me saying that I'm an ignorant friend coz I refuse to go out with him/her. That person knows my schedule or if he/she doesn't know, I try to explain (yet, that person would end up saying "whatever" as he/she thinks I just made it up).

Ok, lemme tell you...
Weekday I work 9-5, with 2 hours to get through. So, what time should i wake up? 5.30am. I take off from home to get a bus, at 6.30 and arrive at 8.30 or 9.  I don't want to get late of course. To get home, at 5, if I get lucky, I might get the bus at 5.15 pm, if not, at 6pm. The bus is really rare I could say. What time do I get home? 7 or 8pm. After that, I need to catch up my dinner, shower, do my side job, and prepare for the next day. Of course, rest a bit. I might sleep late if I got to do the side job task and homework from my current work, like 12 or 1am. Worse happens...at 2 or 3am. It DOES happens. It CAN happen all weekday! NOTE THAT.

Weekends. I usually not that free. I still sleep late and get up early. I could visit 2 or 3 different places in a day---different job, different meeting. So different spot it is. What's even cooler? I might not even sleep or finishing the deadlines of my side job. Especially the deadline is in the middle of the weekday, which I can't make it on the last minute, I shouldn't as I got a main job to run. So, weekend it is.

Some friends can't even understand that. And forcing me to meet them although they really know that I need 'me time' or...sleep after doing so much work and leave me less than 30 hours to sleep per week. It's like they pay me for being their friends, so that they feel they have rights to be THAT demanding. 

They know I'm in quite a misery, yet they don't place themselves as my friends by being supportive. Instead, they try to ruin everything. Like ruining my mood---they can show their disappointment of me not being a good (enough) friend for them, which happens to be a reverse psychology I'm very bad at countering it; unfriend-ing me on facebook.

Well, it's their loss. They aren't being good friends too. They don't even show their understanding and care for problem I'm facing. Why should I care? I just leave it. After a long moments I don't pay attention to their childish and selfish attitude, they would just end up showing again to me saying hi and asking non sense that tries to engage a conversation to get our friendship back. Who cares? I don't have time! I'm a not paid friend that you can get easily...

It's time to be...exclusive!

Back to writing!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

My Article on Le Mariage Magazine


Yes, my friend is going to get married soon and I need a new dress to prepare. This time, I will wear batik dress with a traditional japanese yukata style. For the plan, I've bought 2 meters batik cloth, very cheap yet exotic, aaaand... fashion wedding magz for my guidance! LOL =p I know it might sound funny that I'm so excited to hear that she's going to marry as I hate wedding and am kinda phobia to marriage. Since I was grader, I could promise myself that no marriage and no kids in my life. I want a career. I have never changed my mind. But it's a friend, happy for her!

The piles on the bookstore
You got to know that I'm as excited as writing for Le Mariage---the wedding magz I bought. I was told before that my article was accepted and was going to be in this 3-month edition  (July - September 2011). It's 6 recommended exotic beaches in Indonesia for your honeymoon travel. I show to my Swiss friend, he was inspired to go to one of those 6, although not for a honeymoon. So, maybe you can get the magz and read it, who knows you can use it for your own traveling choices. Especially when you're up for beaches. 

This happiness is my payoff of the drama I got of working in MI a few weeks ago. This is finally my first time, writing for commercial magazine, and what's more important? It's my solo project, not group stuff. My first solo shot and it comes for 4 pages in Le Mariage. I was sooo terrified to get the magz. When it hit the first week of July, I ambushed Gramedia GrandIndo for many times, checking whether the magz would arrive. When it's arrived, I found the piles, covering Elle. I even took a pic of the piles, took one, paid, and left. I stayed at a cafe with a cafe latte and brownies on my table while I check every detail of the magz. My article's headline hit the cover; my background story in the contributor page; my 4 pages article and my name on it. Firstly, I was confused why my name wasn't on the article, but then I found that it was written under the title, black inked, so it was hardly seen. Secondly, I didn't know that the contributor page has 3 pages and I was on the 3rd page. Hahaha... Freak me!
I don't know why it's so crazy to have your name and your writing on a magz or newspaper. I even tweeted that and mentioned @mylemariage with a tweetpic of my article page. Gosh.... I kept smiling for one whole day. That day of joy was too hard to forget. Finally, I'm a writer!

What's even cooler? I would be also an intern starting next month, August 2011. I will work my last day as an English teacher on 28th July. Wish me luck!

Me, me, me... xD
 ....what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom....

My (So-called) Writing Tips

I heard about a software called OMMWRITER for Mac computers months ago. It's one of the writing software available to download for free on the cyberspace. When the first time I heard of it, I was truly excited and welcomed the Windows version to my laptop.

Somehow, it turns out to be quite disappointment. All I see is a screen with space to type, continuous absurd sounds like rain, classical song, and changeable template. I was thinking, "what is it for?" I asked my friend, an author, who used it to write his book. He said that the use of it was to maintain your mood and concentration to keep on writing. "It helps you to focus," he told me.

I do believe the hardest thing to keep in writing is your mood (besides is to keep the idea in mind for a forgetful person like me). But lately, I just figure out (odd) ways to keep the good mood.

1. Zadie Smith is right. We need our attention out of internet access and crowd. So, what we could do is get a place like your own bedroom or, if you wanna go out, find a good cafe or coffee shop. I do mostly well on coffee shop, but what's best? Bathroom! Yes... I do mean it. At least, standing and doing nothing does work for me.

Find somewhere nice. A good cafe with cute and fresh architecture. Inspiring! Try like Social House, GrandIndonesia, in Jakarta. Get the seat by the window with HI fountain view and standby by from 11am. Or else, try eccentric museum!

2. Write along with your favorite songs, which also go with your current writing mood. It happens most of the time that I would be very comfortable listening along with some weird song, (others might call it weird, I don't really see it that way), like Roslyn by Bon Iver, Poker Face cover by Marcela Mangabeira, and Kings of Convenience (the whole album). Just don't play in high tune as you might end up singing and not writing.

The songs I feel comfortable with will be playing all way around. I just click on 'Repeat' button and it keeps playing till morning. My family who might visit in my 'secret laboratory' (read: bedroom) will notice that iTunes or old Winamp plays the same song all the time. "Don't you have any other songs to listen to?" they might complain. Who cares of what they say. What's so important? That song keeps my good mood to have my full concentration. And make sure to stay away from such family disturbia. I did listen to Heartbreak Warfare by John Mayer for 12hours non-stop.

3. Make sure if you have a nice air to breathe. Aromatherapy works best in giving you something new in your bedroom. Fresh atmosphere. Nice, isn't it? No need to go somewhere far to get your mood sets and gain inspiration.

Try Lavender, Rose, Jasmine, or Opium. They smell very nice and refreshing. The aromatherapy makes you relax and there, you can start focus on your writing. 

4. Got stuck? Calm down, grab some hot drink, like tea or coffee, something with caffeine. It works wonderfully amazing to your brain. Try to distract your mind for awhile and enjoy view at your surrounding. Start browsing for updated news, play some quick games online (Diner Dash, Scrabble, WordGame... Facebook games, anyone?), or freshen your mind by seeing cute photos on flickr.

Maybe you can also stand up and exercise a bit. Your body might be stiff of sitting before your computer and not moving that much. In this kind of moment, I often distract myself by cooking instant noodles! I do get my inspiration back when I'm waiting the water to boil in the kitchen. Aha!

5. Write on your best condition! Write like you're going out for a date. But I don't mean that you have to dress up just to write. What I'm trying to say is to write at your comfortable condition such as your sitting position, wear something you feel nice, and do your hair neat.

Don't write on your bad hair day! I don't know why, but this is kinda affecting your writing mood. It's like good shoes you're wearing while you're going for a walk in shopping mall. Good tips: Wash your hair and be fresh! Nice hair makes you sexy, isn't it? Especially when it's half-wet. Wear anything you like to. Even you're at home and you really wanna wear a short sexy gown or even bikinis. Oh, yes, I did. And gladly, it worked out! Nuff said.

6. Don't bother to have a bowl of cookie bites, chips (like Pringles), etc on your table, beside your laptop, or anywhere else, not far from your arm level. Make it grab-able. It reduces your stress when you're stuck or confused in the middle of the process.

7. Lastly, watch some movies and try to pick up some issue or discuss about it. It's always inspiring... Talking and figuring something out kinda helps your brain to work like in procrastination. There, an idea will come.

Happy writing!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Team Up With Media Indonesia

It's kinda late to share but I do really wanna share it. The reason why I'm late to write about this is.. I need the screenshot and stamped with my addressee.

I have teamed up with some girls in my Journalism Club at school to run this one-full page of Move Maker Project in Media Indonesia, one of the national press in the country. It was really an honor and huge experience for me. But...if I may add and continue, there was still drama behind the scene of this project.

What drama? Nevermind. I will post the uncut version of my story that I got from Gia, my interviewee. I have to share the main article space with 3 other people, although one of theirs isn't published. So only 3 stories in the main article, yet my own writing filled like almost 2 and a half part of those 3 columns. And it's still cut. So, for my appreciation, I'm going to post his amazing life story in this blog soon.

No matter what it's a precious experience... So far, I've been writing for internal media which all of your article will be published, the editor would give so much help, and the content is limited to college students, employee and teachers. You know.. it's how internal media works. Trying to find an appropriate theme for the whole one page...for the whole country people...is really a big deal for me. It's team work, the theme is set. Autism, it is.

Most people stress on parents' effort and existence for autistic children. They forgot, if the autistic children have siblings, it could be more help than ever.

On 3 July 2011, my MI project was published. It's really late.. but better than never. My name is there in the main article, luckily the first one mentioned. =P

What happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Too Sweet for a 'Dear Diary' Moment

Something has changed drastically. My world was almost turning up-side down. Days to learn. Days to remember. Well, I won't make it seemed so-called 'drama queen' moment. Things in this post will be just plain. Black and white. So, nope, it won't be sweet as a young girl with her diary book.

All the game I'd play come with a great risk. And I was facing that dark and heartbreaking truth of the fire I put up on my life. Although, now, it's all over, it would still leave a trace of memory and lessons that I have to take far ahead. It was my biggest turning-back point.

I wasn't feeling very well last month. Since the mid of the month and it came worse at the end. That time, there might be something wrong. I wasn't well-acknowledged with this kind of feeling and phenomenon I was through. The sickness and all the mental problems at the same time which affected my power and motivation for work. Yet, life went on and kept demanding me, leaning on me. From this moment on, I learned that being a reliable person isn't much different to being a grounded (but trusted) slave. Well, at least, a different kind of slave with higher (and better, of course) status compared to others.

I was (and still am) wild to my nature and freedom lover. I hate limits. Culture and rules which are against my own value I created has become my enemy. I protested to stupid political conditions, religious affairs, and this (stupid) high-context culture I'm living in. I distrust and hold anger towards the patriarchal system. Yet, I could ruin my life and my (HQ) dream for my future...just for a guy. What's the surprise? I almost did.

Within the situation, I realize that man and woman are completely differently created. To become a woman that is loved by a man is huge task for a life time. How to make yourself pretty, attracted and....acceptable. To be praised for your brain, taste, and look. Woman are demanded to be real lady and ... PERFECT!!! A man? Never!

Oh, c'mon... Did a guy ever go waxing, have a hair-do and feel the pain and boredom during the time? Or get a trouble when 'he can't take care of his girl's loyalty to him'? Did a guy ever get blacklisted for doing molestation, rape, dating my girls at the same time or hire a call girl? ---> this would be another topic to talk about. I'll write it down next time when I got the time.

Since a child, I don't want to get married and by the time goes by, I grow more feminist. Sadly, the strength in me doesn't keep my on the right track. I fell in love and drown in sorrow with a broken-heart. All I see is disappointment. Darker...along the way forward. Don't ask me if I ever got lost. Women can't read maps, although now we got GPS, I can't use it right way and in the right time. I lost myself anytime, so often. Amnesia comes to me and blurs my life plan.

It wasn't easy. Nothing is ever easy. But last week, it came to climax. It wasn't orgasm that I'm talking about. But it was....regret and fear of the days coming to me, twisted from the one I've planned and hoped. Those days last week, I did mean to say, "I'm ready to die!" If the day were going to become worse, why shouldn't I stop my fate for facing the bitter trust, I thought. I had to face the regret of what I did---what I let people take from me---and the feeling of abandoned and forgotten, and/or thrown away just like your empty Coke can. Some part of me just can't handle the mistreatment. The fear has taken me down to keep on everything done.

Brandon needs help. He knows it.
On Wednesday, I got an anxiety attack. It started around 5pm at work. When I was got home, my heart kept beating fast, and even faster. I didn't know why but I really had a bad feeling about anyone I love. So, it made me worried about them. I said to myself, God, kill me now! I'd choose to end my life if I have to witness something bad like that! My niece came to have a sleep over and it mean that I had to share my bedroom. For some days, I lost my only privacy spot. I couldn't cry or do anything to relieve myself. I knew I needed help. When she was almost asleep, I contacted my friend, who happens to be a psychologist, Indri, and said that I got this weird phenomenon. After a short counseling, it stopped. I got better and suddenly my appetite back.

The next day, I just...knew..that something was going on...with me! I checked on the internet about everything. These symptoms, my fear, and what I could do without telling anyone and freaking my parents.

After a few hours, I bbm-ed Indri again and asked her help. I was really grateful that she wanted to help and accompany me, and all. I appreciate all the things she did for me, like her research, patience and effort to come to see me and spend the whole day with me for solving my problems. I am deeply thankful to have her as a friend, as a sister, and to have her existence that support me. I couldn't imagine that I had to go to the hospital and face the confusions, distrust, worry.

Brandon and Piggy

Also... with this hospital scene, I realize how much I need to take care of my health and the importance to have much money for anything that might come and would need me to spend money. I was kinda worried that I might not afford the whole hospital bills. But thankfully, I could. Another grateful part, I could get a nice and good medical treatment with the money I spent. Oh, I promise this time, I would try my best to keep some money for emergency stuff like this. Please note: without asking my parents!

Last week...was the week of regret. I hope that I could turn back the time. I didn't commit suicide, yet I kept living till now.

Something that I regret was my choice. To follow my heart, to go to communication studies and choose writing as my passion. I remember I cried in my heart that I shouldn't have followed my writing call. I should have gone with a 'safe' college major. Suddenly I regret my choice to listen to what my soul wants to do. I doubt my writing skill and wondering about all of my rejected projects and un-replied ones. I shouldn't... I shouldn't. While I have to meet people's demands on me. I'm too reliable, remember? I don't know if there's any other person in this world could be more reliable and better at work than I do. I feel that I don't have a specialist skill. At least, that's my feeling.

During those negative thoughts, I also wondered if I took the 'safe' college majors like most of my high school mates did. How my life would be? Let's quisera sera... Can't imagine I would stuck in math or accounting stuff. Unlike other chinese people, I'd choose something out of business or marketing related. I can't do 'commerce'. I'll be a bad one.

Just today, I got the call. For my internship in 7th semester, I already got my place. I'm almost finishing my 6th semester, but before my other friends got to think about the place they're going to work as an intern, I already got one. I'm so ready. It was a great news to me. They accept my articles and one of the 3 is going to be published although I haven't been working yet. In August, I will start my dream job.

Only, I still need some time to grieve. As what had happened has torn apart my trust towards people. I am truly disappointed. The scene has gone unbelievable. I was completely (or partly) wrong about people. I have to 'tidy up' my life and...the most important...my heart.

I'm so grateful with my choice to move on. And you should, as well....

...what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

New layout and concept will be coming soon... =)

which means

no new blogpost until next week, 

Sunday, 12th 2011-12PM (JKT-BKK) 
Saturday. 11th 2011-10PM (PDT, US - California)

Sorry, visitors!

New interviews and reviews will be posted by next week.
Thank you.... 

Monday, May 30, 2011

Rest and Rest

(If you ever read this) You might be bored of me saying 'my so-called wake up call just came up'. It's been like the hundred times (read: couple times) I've said that. Yet, I never call it quit!

Quit? From my school, work(s), hobbies, to other naughty stuffs (let's say, blogging). I love it, and just can't stop doing what I love (for this one, let's say it as the reason I can't have a date, beside the fact I'm a nerd!!)

Last week, I couldn't go to school on Monday. That's because...

One day before, on Sunday, I had a meeting at 12pm and I was almost late. I woke up juist 2 hours before the meeting starts. Then, I rushed to the office without taking any meal.

My tummy started to hurt one hour after the meeting. I was hoping that I would get food after the meeting was over. Yet, my friend asked me to join her and got some meal aaannndd.....we continued 6 hour journey after that. I went home late and that means... I missed my dinner (again).

I did buy some drugs as acid reducer. Somehow, it didn't work any good. My tummy hurt again that night and continue hurting till the morning! I took a couple of zantax and finally it healed me! How I love American drug...

Yet, I got stumbled on my eating schedule on Tuesday and almost killed me at night. Wednesday I felt better, but then I got sick again, Friday afternoon.The third incident cost me 2 meeting cancelations on Saturday. I thought it wasn't a good idea. But, it turned out good.

Sleep, sleep, sleep!
It's been like forever I never had my weekend at home. Only one day of two days of the weekend. I had a quality time with my mom, nephew and niece, and a little time with my dolls. I could tidy up my bedroom, play some games....but still.... I had to work on some articles as I'm applying for a new job and those 3 articles were one of the things for me to get accepted. Also I needed to recheck on my team's work for a national newspaper. Things got crazy actually at the last moment... Yet, I had my quality time anyway!

The points is....full time to rest. Not to work!

...what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Sunday, May 29, 2011

PhotoBlog: Foods In Row

Mrs. Liem's cupcake in Bandung

Taken from CameraPhone...sorry for the blur part =(

Pastel colours! Pretty baby?


Twin Chocos

Campus' Sushi

Mochi mochi

Pineapple Cookie
...what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Friday, May 27, 2011

Coming Back!

I think it has been couple times I changed this and that in my blog, before the major changing, which was stepping onto another blog, make a new name, tagline and concept. Now, I declare along with this post that I'm going to make some major changes.
First, I would step back (not with the URL) to The Interesting Stranger (with the same blog adresss, brigida-alexandra.blogspot.com). Naked and Caffeinated would be only history. Before people I ask why, I would like to share why I named it "Naked and Caffeinated". 
  • I'm a coffee addict until I hurt my kidney by having too much of it (everyday in my whole life)
  • Naked means literally without wearing anything when I'm writing. It might sound weird, funny or whatever, but somehow, I feel so goddamn creative when I'm without clothes intact.
  • Naked can be also meant to be honest. I didn't lie or try to cover anything wrong on what it is wrong with me and anything else.
  • Getting naked and having coffee make me write, at least, they actually make me able to concentrate and feel comfortable with my surrounding. Alone in my bedroom.
 That's what I mean with Naked and Caffeinated title. But ever since I have posted about my japanese Satanic doll, Irae (My Little Sister Irae-chan), look what has happened:

Hey baby, you just got stuck in my blog!

So, according to my blog statistic, many people used the keywords around 'naked', 'little', and 'sister'....they actually seek for porn! 

Thanks to the search engine for giving the wrong web, so the page views of my blog hit up a bit. Just a bit! Yes, a bit, literally! 

By this week, the page views to that specific blogpost has reached 3 clicks. I'm not here to judge. It's normal for seeking porn, anyway. But, I just don't feel it's nice to keep these people keep getting lost to my blog and only find disappointment here of not getting any naked pics. That's why, I decided to change the name. Then, the search engine wouldn't let them come to this blog with those three keywords. 

Maybe that wouldn't be much difference, but at least, it could make my blog less appearing in the results. Let's hope so! =)

Secondly (and the last), I've been thinking to merge my review blog to this blog of mine. It's going to be easier and more practical when I want to show my blog to someone or some people, or, even when I want to put a  link somewhere. Two blogs must need some more spaces and lines to be mentioned somewhere like in a business card, or even in the Twitter Bio's Website space. 

Yet, like what I have done to my first and previous blog, I would keep it alive, only it's not going to be updated. I'm also going to merge the review blog to this one. There have been so many memories that I can't just leave there. I want to bring them along. Those memories like the previous reviews and comments are meant to me. They would be in this blog, right on the same date they were published at first and the comments would come along, too. 

I'm going to figure out the whole preparation for this merging. I need to work on the navigation buttons so people can access easier to the post they need or want to read. There would be also publications and all, which could be complicated sometimes. Wish me luck! (if you ever read this)

...what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Sunday, May 22, 2011

My Friends Are The Greatests!

Yay! My friends have gone one step farther from me...which means... they have published their books before me!!!!! Huaaaa..... I feel like I'm being left behind =P Guess, I've got my way too dramatic. Oh well...

So, with this blog... I wanna show you my friends' published books. I will make a review too for each books on my review blog =)

I Ordered My Wife From the Universe by Stanley Dirgapraja

Valentine Si Kembar by Tyka Dinarsasi

Jakarta Inside Out by Daniel Ziv

Well, click on the link to get some information about the books and buy them =)
Enjoy reading!

...what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Should We Think of Others?

This is one of the latest issue got in my head.... I was asked to get the pictures of some speakers who were invited in a talk show. The person who asked me said the pictures were so important coz they would be sent to a national newspaper. SO, I have to get a very best picture of the last memorable moment NO MATTER WHAT.

...what a life of a journo...

Well, I did try my best. I stood by a few moments before and got ready to take shots with my camera. Somehow, there were some people who might be assistants of the speakers who were also asked to get the pics of their bosses. They might say it's for their documentation, but I would likely say it as a narcissism. But what annoyed me was those assistants took the pic, half meter of the stage! I was like 2 meters away and I got to find a good spot to take this so-called important-as-hell pictures. Then, I moved forward to get 1 meter closer, then a colleague from community TV walked a few steps and stood before me! I was like, omg, do you have brain?

Then, I maneuvered that TV guy and stood before him and it was looked kinda wrestling-scene from distance. Wrestled for a memorable moment to be photographed. Oh, dear...

After that scene was over, I talked to some of my seniors in the newsroom. I said to them, I tried to understand that the TV guy wanted to take pics too, so I gave him a space, yet he didn't do the same. He was like the unthoughtful speakers' assistants. One of my speakers said, "when you consider others', those people probably might not consider anything for you." 

I jumped in and said, "I don't care if people don't have hearts. What's important is that I DO have heart." I would try my best to get the pictures without abusing others' rights to do or to get what they want  and need to do. For me, if people think the same like my senior, then, this world is just....screwed. Everyone starts problem by being annoying to others and no one will try to understand and hold back their ego.

What I wanna tell you is... that this senior of mind is kinda my campus' pride. Could you believe such person favoured person think like that? And don't forget that mostly Indo would claim that they have the culture which always prioritize others first (or it can't be applied in Journalism practices?) and I often got critized for being to individualist. They said I was like a westerner. Do westerners think of themselves only? I don't think so. In this case, me, who was claimed as one, do think of others, instead of the Indo who claim the culture bla-bla-bla and don't exactly think of others. Could we say cultural mispractices?

Don't say that I'm being judgemental. I am being judgemental.. why? These people like to judge me and I think I deserve to judge them back with their fake culture claim. 

Let's forget the fact that our kindness could be used by others as the result of giving too much for people's goodness. One experience of mine was I was in hurry but I took some time to help a woman on the way to school. She was walking with crutch. All she wanted from me was to help her hand her money to a public transport driver. I did it and she was going to go across the road. And I offered to take her to the opposite road. It wasn't much far. Before she said yes, she refused coz I was looked in hurry. Then I insisted that it would be ok. I couldn't just let her go through the herds of motorcycles, cars, trucks and all, alone...with crutch. After I helped her, she said thank you. THANK YOU. Short phrase of two words that has a big meaning to me. Big meaning... too big... just for my simple help. Somehow, I didn't get anything, but only a huge happiness that I gained (and don't know why I could gain, as I spent my small time for her). 

Lastly, she said, "God bless you! Success for your school and work" It was more than anything else. I didn't expect that such support. Those words were really kind. Especially, it comes to the right time, when I was having a spiritual crisis.

It is true that we have to know and be wise knowing and deciding what's first. But prioritizing others' goodness isn't that bad, you know...

...what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Saturday, May 14, 2011

13 Years Ago

Exactly today, on the same date, 13 years ago...
It was close. It was around. It was real.

13 years ago, what had happened would never be forgotten.
Under the day light, true sunny day...
It was good, it was nice... it was fine.
Just in a moment. I hoped it would be turning into gloomy sky and heavy rain
thinking... the fear and the real darkness to fade, washed by the water from above
disappearing the foggy heat, and let the day just be drown

13 years ago.... It was...
but, what memories were so strong!
bringing along the bunch of questions
strings of 'who', 'what', and 'why' into everyone's mind
i was too young to witness, to hear and to feel

too ignorance to be warned,
too innocent to be frightened

13 years ago....
even now, the word 'ago' doesn't mean anything
a drop of blood was still there
kept and reminisced

a day of exiled
loneliness under endless darkness
terrorized with your own shadow
it was 13 years ago

what have been gained
what have been lost
have been buried and searched

the demons want it more
today, tomorrow, next month or next year

for another history to be added
for another sadness to cover one's decay of heart
distract us from the past

better be sleepless, in a dream, that no one can break into
....in a country of the burned and ruined
in a land where the demons lie 6 feet under with stolen gold and pearl

dedicated to all who became the victims and to all who lived in the fear of those 2-day unstoppable riot.... my prayers for all of us.

...what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

Monday, May 9, 2011

PhotoBlog - Eating at Marche GrandIndo

Armed with empty tummy, it was nice to have a war with plenty food of American dose..... 

I've ever visited Marche restaurant back when I was in grade school with my sister when she was still staying in Jakarta and with my mom. The name was Marche Movenpick. A nice place in Gran Melia Hotel, Kuningan. Years away I've never visited there again, until I heard a year ago, that there was Marche in Plasa Senayan.

Yep, it's next to XXI Cinema, right across the elevator =P To be honest, I've never had time to visit that one, but then when I hanged out in my usual place, GI.... another Marche!

My friend just visited me again in Jakarta after his short stay in Canada. We decided to have a lunch together. We chose Marche. I can say it was an appropriate time to try. The difference from the previous Marche I'd ever been into is the card. Hmm... back in 2000, they didn't give an electric card, they would just give you a carton card to be stamped each time you order a meal or drink in every station. Since, the so-called technology development, they do less-paper. 

Yet, unlike the previous Marche style, each type of cuisine is divided in a different station. Briefly, when you want to eat pasta, you can simply find all of pasta cuisine choices in one station and if you want soup, just go to soup station. The same thing goes to drinks, cookies and anything else.

Just make sure you have gone all around and choose what to eat at the end... Too many tempting choices =P


An example of good communication tactics

My dear partner in crime, Ivan!

Still interested with this? I do
At least, they provide fun pages for children
My friend was interested too =)

My beef pasta!
Ivan's chicken pasta!

It was...reserved!

...what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...