Sunday, April 10, 2011

Fake and Real Friendships

Err...
What kind of guy who thinks that you must have at least a little time in each week for him? While to find a me time for yourself is almost an impossible thing that you can finally get at least once in a month. And not in a week?

Well... it's the first time that I agree on the saying "Never try to please everyone", which can also mean, "Don't always be nice to everyone, you need to be mean some time".

I met this little guy in high school as my junior. He was motivated and nice. We were in the Web Design Club which was handled by me, the former president. Our first years of friendship was great. Very much fun! Until, I felt so happy to have him nearby and decided to take him as my lil brother.

Hey... hey.. slow down! I know it's sounded too much of me. But yeah... I did.

I was a youngest girl and my nieces and nephew age much younger. My older siblings? They got too much older from me. It's like I need some kind of family member that doesn't age that far from me to share and to have fun. That's what I thought...

What had been going on? Yeah.. he... gone crazy!

He kept urging me to meet and all. Keep sending me text messages just to tell that he didn't like who and who, what he did that I didn't wanna know... All about him. I'd been just his listener and nothing I can do about it. Like he ruling over me!

Once, I made a review on a book on my review blog and shared the link in my facebook page. You know what he did? He commented on it, acted like he was kinda a bit mad and irritated with the bunch of my activities, "Sis, you'd rather review on my cousin's controversial wedding, rather than reviewing that book!" I was like, oh jeez...what am I supposed to do with HIS COUSIN'S WEDDING?!" Who am I and all?

Oh yeah, I remember his cousin's wedding and he asked me to accompany him to come. I didn't wanna come. As I was a bit ill that day. He was like... umm yeah.. you can guess. Then he kept trying to get me into his gossip about some people, he thinks are hot, in our circle. OMG, do I have time for that? And seriously, I'm not the type of such people who enjoy talking on other's business.

So, I decided to step away without he realized it. I changed my number and Yahoo Messenger ID. I even made an FB account just for some random people and trapped him to be on that account. FB has been an important thing in my life just like Twitter. So, I don't want him to watch over my life and keep myself in his invisible chain. That's my way!

When a person takes a lot of your time and bugs your privacy, leave him behind. It's just crazy when your life is some kind of being monitored by a freak guy and put you as his weapon, or a dog!

The, what could you in advance so you won't get disappointed with a friend gone crazy or friendship turned freaky?
  • Don't give your trust to much on anything to that person
  • Think before you say something personal or anything that would lead him/her easy to get you
  • Don't be easily let that person get closer to you.
  • Just try to be just casual friends, and don't let him/her think that you're a suitable 24/7 pet. Remember you won't get anything, unless the fact that you're used.
  • Try to see anything about him/her and things between you two clear and cool. Don't get blinded with his/her sweetness.
  • Keep in mind what "REAL FRIENDS" really are.
REAL FRIENDS? It takes time to be real friends. These people will be the ones who will listen to you and try to keep the friendship going fair. Like he/she tells the story, asks your advice or feedback, and will give an equal space and duration for you to share to him/her, too. A feedback will be also given. So, it's not always about him. If you give much time of yours to that person like for being 24/7 friends, he/she would remember it always and will do the same.

TRUST + EQUAL = GOOD FRIENDSHIP
It's not about what you get, but it's also about what you give. Just love between lovers and family members. And love is also exist in friendship.

Maybe I'm wrong, so please correct me. I need a feedback, always. I'm a forever learner.

REAL FRIENDS would:
  • not throw you away for his/her own need and mission. This is sounded so cliche, but it's true!
  • not say something bad about you with your misbehaviour and would talk about it in the right time in private
  • try to see other side of you, and even be objective. As the only thing that is kept in mind is to keep the friendships with you.
  • not be crazy of himself. Knowing better that the world isn't only about one person which is him.
Maybe, being friends is just that simple, yet more people try to get complicated with things and others. Weird, huh?

So, I have thought about this and would try to do it... =)


wish you best of luck!
-bree-

...what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

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