|Yes, they call me by middle name's nick: Marcell.|
In fact, I turned 22 this year. For exact, on 9th March yesterday. 13 years apart, the candles and the reality. LOL.
My birthday was opened by the Five For Fighting's song, 100 Years. "I'm 22 for a moment." It fits, for now. At least, that way, I'm reminded of how short and fast life could change and last. It's been 22 years of life...of nothing. I have been nothing! Worth 22 years?
Regarding one last year, it's been tough year. 2011 to early 2012. Ups and downs in life, I can't imagine that it's worse than nightmare's roller coaster. It takes too long for me to leave the playground, I guess. Naivety, religious dogmas, East culture have shaped me bad. I hope too much, I always try to expect less. Yet, I fail. The world is not enough (Just like the James Bond movie title. They kicked it through the title, hmmm).
Such a rebel that found nowhere for a perfect sanctuary. For 22 years, non effectively of course. The previous 365 days of life was so pure of shocking things. I decided to fight back the working system that has exploited me and decided to quit my first job that has given me so much adventures---teaching---giving me space, something for me to try stepping right on my feet. Surprisingly, I miss my kids, I mean my students. What was next to that? I know I'm sick and bankrupt to recover. Even to just now, I passed the moment when I sipped my homemade brewed Hazelnut coffee and kept on writing this blog post.
|My fave cover ever since |
I was there
What's even funnier? Something bigger tries to dig out a gem inside. A huge phase to get over, as a 21-year-old, I might claim it as a turbulence. Everyday, I face the shakes. More drama comes to my life, in a form of a crook. Yes, he almost tricked me before finally my friends and I found out his previous case. He was a big-mouthed man, who told me that he wanted me to become a great writer and all, something I didn't ask him for. I have given him some opportunities to be in a life he has been wanting for so long, instead of showing what he could do for me and my friends---once again, something we didn't hope for. Thank God, he failed to drag me into his dark business syndicate or to gain more from me and my friends. What's good? I finished the case, after doing an investigation (I'm a journo, remember?), and cut him off from the networking connections. There's no way he could get into the business anymore. Somehow, I still wish that I could send him to upstate.
Sad? I've been losing my friends, though. As I skipped so many times to be with them. But, I met new friends too (the crook included, and that made him ex-friend). I have more networks, yet it's just felt so lonely, when you're surrounded with stuffs. Don't get me wrong, I love my jobs and my friends. But time is so damn short.
...I have my life, my blessings, my lessons.
No matter how dark it seemed to be, I still could say that I do feel blessed for what I have gained so far.
Within a short moment for me time, I have finally managed to renovate and re-decorate my room. It's still 50 percent done. Yet, my action figures and miniatures have now got the place to be displayed...in front of my books. So, I have added 3 shelves and one shelf is for some books (which aren't fit any more in my old colourful bookshelf) and the action figures + miniatures and some other cute stuff there. The other two shelves above it are dedicated to my animal stuffs. As they now have more space to breathe, rather than to stuck with the entire animal family I own, just like taking a train to downtown in China. Ok, my stuffed animals aren't that crowded... I made it too much. But yeah, I have less space, regarding the plenty of numbers. I got bigger table to work and nice animals stamps on my wall, girly pin board and sexy Sucker Punch poster on one side of the wall.
|Yay! We have a place to show up to you people!|
|Table. Didn't tidy it up before taking the pic. Sorry....|
|Full pin board :)|
I remember when I was a little, I was so hurried to be grown-up. Now, John Mayer's song "Stop This Train" will be stuck in my head for years ahead (not for whole 13 years, for sure).
New love life is out of my subject last year. After what I had before was damaged thoroughly. I don't know if things could change at my side or the Universe's side about this. Yet, THAT LUCKY BASTARD still need to have his lesson. For now, the only points to go is: finish my school, gain better stability for my financial life, reconnect with friends and my family, quality (me) time, recover, and refresh myself up. With only a few months left in this 2012. Wish me luck! Let my decision and destiny to be breakeven...