Sunday, December 9, 2012

No Drama - Talking to Myself

I took a pic of myself. Self-photoshoot with my cellphone cam. I looked at the result---Me, lying down on my bed, smiling to the lens. Is it me? I did ask myself while my laptop played Colbie Caillat's song, 'Little Things'. A question and a statement quarrel at each other in my head. Is it me? Is it someone else?


The little things, you do to me are---taking me over...

Some space in my heart I let empty. Sad face just simply pictured myself from the outside. It's somewhat my unconscious mind talking my expression. Smile-less.

...everything inside of me...

Reality of this made me looked at myself more deeply. I left people and their lives. Breaking our connections. Something changed in me. Turning into someone I never wanna be. I put away people. I put away their drama. A decision is made---to avoid almost all of the causes my distractions.

...(don't) you mess up mess up...

My works consumed me a lot. Too much! Yes? Trying to fix things I don't need, just for it. This is not me. Not my way living the life, playing with fate. No lead.

...I don't wanna lose you...

Different is my definition. That's my truth. I'm trying to get back to myself. My real self.

...Give up give up...

You were right. Getting to know who I am is like taking route through the labyrinth. Please help me back and not misguide me...or else...

...just leave---me---hanging on...

I want to go straight away. Straightening my mind. Straightening my way. I will hang on and fight! Looking back and get back, conquer the game I might have escaped from.

...you speakin' your mind and sayin' the real thing...

Everyone is so far away. Disappearing in silence. In seconds. I can't talk to nobody?!


...feeling lonely but...

I can't really speak out. Something has changed me... I have changed. The reality shapes me this kind of person I'm seeing in the picture I just took. My fault: I let them get me caught.


...wake up wake up this ain't just a thing about you...

Hopefully so... I'm going away. Leaving the drama behind. Be the silence. Be the watcher. Be the runaway. Be the free.



Colbie Caillat - The Little Things


...what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

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