Monday, September 2, 2013

My Giveaway: Second Chance and Forgiveness

We're all blurry lights in the night

A post on my Facebook timeline made me thinking of something. Something...that has happened lately. About being human, making mistakes and keep going on with life.

As I have written before, something has happened. Lately. But it's not the first time I undergo such hard situation. Someone I trust(ed) fails did a thing we won't forget. For all of us, this is also not our first time. We did face it. But this time, we're not taking the same route. There's a time when you have to look deeper in the ocean and see if everything is not always the same, but they're just ALMOST the same.

(you'll know why I stroke the word 'fail' later on, implicitly)

No matter how similar or different the thing we had before and the one we have today, the problem is that we're drown in lies. 

Maybe I was overreacted. Could be not. It might be... natural as a human being, like when you cry, even while you were in cab on your way home, and asking 'why' in regret of trusting the wrong person. Silly me! In fact, it's natural emotion that comes out whenever you feel disappointed. This is a lesson. Everything I face in life I take it as lessons. I need to be someone bolder with iron heart. (Remember, I'm a Steelhart. Well, at least, that's my last name).

I wrote on my Path the other day, "Today is the last time I lay my trust on others. Whoever it would be...". Before the bad news was soon vaguely confirmed, I knew it. My heart dropped. How could I be so stupid and all. Again, I found myself in regretting phase.

As days go by, I realize it's all... natural. It takes more lessons before you're skilled enough in life. Many levels, each steps getting trickier to win. Then, I thought of something last night. What if one day I make the same mistake? Everyone makes mistake. It'd be too conceited of me when I say or think that I can't do or fall into the same shit. As this situation started from...

Lies. I can lie. Everyone can lie. 

Money makes people lost themselves. Hard situation pushes people going out of their minds. It all started with, 'People can lie everyday, right?'

But shall we giveaway our forgiveness and second chances for those who have done wrong? Simply, why not? People can be good. People can be bad. I guess it would be wise of us, if we look up a person from whole aspects. Today, he does a bad thing, maybe he didn't in the past or he won't in the future. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

We only can deliver forgiveness and second chance. That's all. We're human. As we heard most of the time, 'human makes mistakes'. Yes, we're not God. Therefore, it would be better if we don't see ourselves as the Almighty who will not create any mistakes. Understanding that a person is having his darkest moment, it means we're treating him as a human---the same creature like us, who can do the same mistake. Mistake comes easily, in return, we have to get up and walk on. Fixing the mess and not running away. Staying strong. A reason to relive the life. That's second chances and forgiveness (to ourselves or to others) are for.

It's not our cup of tea, though, to believe in changing a person. To change, it's a choice. On others, that cannot be not our command. If someone wants to, he/she will.

It took years for me to keep it in mind if a person does something wrong, sometimes, it doesn't make him a total bad person. Seriously, it is a big deal for me. But I found that there's a specific second chances we can give away which are...the second chance for the people who did something wrong to live like us, be part of us---the world---and continuing his life as anyone else should. 



No matter what, like people might always say, "we forgive, but we won't forget." Anything you did in the past will follow you around. Accept it, you can't run. Once a glass is broken, no matter how great the way you mend it... the crack cannot be hidden. Some second chances are made for those to go back and start over, but some are made to find another thing so we all can say 'life goes on'.

Somehow after all the self-battle in seeing this case differently, I choose not to forget that this person has been a good friend. I trusted him. I told him my secrets. I opened up to him. I did. And I won't forget those positive sides of his. Time only lets us grow out of it for some time.

Of course, I appreciate when he comes up delivering his regret and sorry. Saying 'sorry' for the chaos one has created is not something easy. Not just for him, not just for me. Everyone deals with tough time for it when such thing thrown at us.

I also believe, that sometimes, the story of 'why' always brings up a new shocking enlightening. I'm open to be all ears for the whole background story.

'You're hurt?'
Yes... I am.. Anyone else does. So?

The point is... anyone would hurt you. People make mistakes. Has been all my life, I found that everyone, really, everyone tries to hurt me. Even those in my own family. Everyone will hurt. You will hurt people as well. And it's not about forgiving those who are worth to sacrificed for, but it's about how to take ourselves and to keep distance with almost everyone. You need to stand alone, even though you got to know when you should or could lean on. Mastering the art of taking care and protecting our lives are the key. Life is full political game, even if you're not in the government.

I learn that I need to stop trusting people like crazy. Some part of me is better left inside for personally myself. Nothing is always predictable. On the other hand, I learn how precious and worth one's trust could be. I value mine highly.

But, I recall it again...

Someone can be good, can turn to be bad, and can turn back into a good person. Anyway, I bet we've also heard this one very often, 'nobody's perfect'. It's just not that a person is unsuitable to trust as in Paulo Coelho's quote that I would never forget (and I believe in so much): 'there's nothing ever completely right, even stopped clock is right for twice a day.' So, we're heading to the fact that we actually didn't trust the wrong person. But it's only that people change, as we all do. Anyway, we can't always do something right.

We can't let a person be broken down and failing his whole life for one humanly mistake that he would already be willing to pay for. In certain cases, maybe I can work this situation out according that opinion of mine.

No matter how hard it is for you. Regretting phase should be get over with and ended up with giving away the second chances for those who might have shared part of his life with you, as a friend, family, colleague, and even strangers. I think we also need to remember, in our lives, we make mistakes. And there have been million times where second chances come to us, even when we don't literally see them.

Remember, everything happens for a reason...

And I...need to forgive myself, so I can trust again.

See things inside clearly =)


... what happens in my bedroom, stays in my bedroom...

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